


The Greatest Show On Earth

by youngavengerfeels



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Circus, M/M, Stucky Big Bang 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 21:18:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11859852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngavengerfeels/pseuds/youngavengerfeels
Summary: When Steve's mother dies he runs away to join a circus to escape the debt left behind. He finds himself part of something much larger than himself as he falls for an acrobat known only as the Winter Solider.





	The Greatest Show On Earth

**Author's Note:**

> After all the hours and frustration here is my piece for Stucky Big Bang. I have never written a single fic this long before so it truly was a challenge but I am in love with this concept.

Steve wasn't sure if he was a stow away on the circus train or if he was an actual member of the community. He had never formally joined seeing as he didn't have any skill as a performer and was utterly useless with hard labor. Still no one made him feel openly unwelcome and if he was ever running behind someone would come by to make sure he didn't miss the train. The circus was a tight knit community and while Steve knew he had been accepted into its fold, he still felt like an outsider looking in a lot of the time.

The one real talent Steve had was his art. He would set up his easel and colored pencils out at his booth and drew the circus goers who sat down for him. Some people wanted fun little cartitures others wanted portraits of them and their loved ones. Steve was fascinated by all of the people who came to the circus. He watched families toting small unruly children, teenagers on their first dates, and older couples coming to relive their childhood. He drew them all, capturing little pieces of time on paper.

Sometimes when his booth was slow he would pull out his personal sketchbook and draw the patrons. His sketchbooks were a record of all the places he had been and things he had seen. When he first arrived to the circus he had been fixated on drawing his old life in Brooklyn but the more he saw of the world the more fascinated he became. People were really the same no matter where they went. Even when he couldn't understand the language he could understand a child’s excitement over seeing a lion for the first time or the crowd shriek in fear as a fire flesher set themselves on fire.

Tonight was one of those slow nights, but instead of waiting it out hoping for someone to want a little memento of their visit, he packed up his booth and joined the crowd heading toward the big top. The show had already started but Steve was only only interested in seeing one act in particular. He snuck into the big top with a large crowd and shuffled his way to a seat. It was a good thing what he wanted to see was up because with his height he had no hope of seeing anything in the crowd.

The acrobats had already started gracefully wrapping themselves in the silks dancing in the air. The acrobats demanded a great deal of attention and respect. Their acts were death defying and beautiful. Their flying trapeze act was always a crowd pleaser but Steve prefered when they performed in the aerial hoop. The two bodies moving in tandem through the aerial hoop was so sensual Steve couldn't take his eyes off of it. The man and woman were flirting with each other in the air. Both of them had great deal of grace Steve could never hope to possess.

The Winter Soldier and the Black Widow were the pride of SHIELD Circus. They were the act that the crowds came to see, what put the little circus on the map. Their routines were pieces of art in motion. Steve had tried time and time again to capture a little bit of what he felt watching them up in the air on paper but he had yet to be able to capture the easy fluidity of the artists. Their dance was meant to be seen in the air and not on paper.

While Steve respected both artists, he couldn't help but fixate on the man in particular. The man was stunning from both the air and the ground. Of course Steve had never talked to the guy, he didn’t even know his real name, only his stage name. To be fair the guy didn't really try to make himself welcoming. The two acrobats kept almost entirely to themselves although they helped with chores as everyone did. Steve had been hoping to get paired with The Solider at some point in the rotation but so far no luck. It probably was due to the fact that the Soldier was incredibly strong and actually useful while Steve was delegated to some menial task.

The Soldier was truly strong, stronger than anyone Steve had ever seen and he worked with literal strongmen acts. Steve had seen the Soldier pull the central pole for the big top up himself when it was normally a task for the elephants. No one was naturally that strong, you couldn’t achieve that kind of strength through a good workout routine. But when Steve asked around trying to find out the Soldier's backstory, no one knew anything more than rumors.

No one knew where the Winter Solider or the Black Widow came from. Most of the crew didn't even know them by anything other than their stage names. Lorraine, one of the dancers thought it was just a gimmick to hype up the crowd but Steve had seen the way the acrobats looked over their shoulders, it was the looks of two people who didn't want to be found. Steve wasn't one to judge, everyone came to the circus for their own reason and whatever the acrobats had been before was over now.

Steve had joined the circus when his mother died. She had been the only family he knew all his life and with her death he didn’t have a reason to stay in Brooklyn. He couldn’t afford to stay either. Between his inability to hold down a decent paying job and the bills from the hospital Steve had been drowning in debt. He had been evicted from his apartment with nothing left to his name expect some art supplies that he had managed to save. With nowhere left to go Steve had come across the circus who had just appeared in town. Steve entered the fairground memorized by all of the acts and flashing colors. Without meaning to Steve went to see the circus as an escape, but never left.

When the show ended Steve was in too much of a daze to draw anyone’s caricature, so he wondered out of the big top letting his feet just carry him away. Living with the circus was a constant barrage of the senses. Everything was always so loud with the musicians playing, the sounds of carnival games and the crowd laughing and cheering, even with his bad ear Steve was able to hear it all. One thing he regretted was not being able to see the circus with all of its bright colors, only the muted hues.

Steve loved the carnival rides. On the slow days he would get on the Ferris wheel and sketch whatever he could see from the top. On busier nights he had to get away from the crowds so he would walk along the edge of the circus. Away from all of the lights, the edges of the circus was often where some of the more risque couples would show a little bit of passion. It was also where drunken men would stumble off to causing trouble.

“Come on doll I’ve spent all night playing nice, now it's time for you to pay me back,” Steve heard some creep drawl. Every creep sounded the same, the patronizing drawl to their voice and sense of entitlement. It made Steve sick to his stomach to hear. He couldn't just walk away so Steve turned toward the voice and found a guy holding a woman in place who was struggling to get away.

“She clearly isn't into you pal. Leave her alone,” Steve said sounding way more brave than he actually was.

“Fuck off, this is a private matter,” the guys said not even looking at Steve who felt his blood boil. He hated guys like that who thought just because they were strong enough to take anything they wanted by force, they were entitled to anything they wanted. Steve hated bullies.

“Well buddy I'm making it my business so leave her alone,” Steve said taking a step forward, grabbing the man to pull him off of the woman. Well more like try since Steve was about half the size of the guy but might as well have been a fly buzzing around his ear.

The guy didn't even swing that hard and Steve was sent sprawling. He was so tired of being knocked down. He curled in on himself and cupped the back of his head to try and protect himself from the inevitable kick that was coming because these kind of guys just had to kick a guy when he was already down. The kick never came though.

Steve looked up in time to see the Winter Soldier send the guy packing. With the kohl makeup smudged around his eyes and his impressive physique as an aerialist, the Soldier was terrifying. It sent a shiver of excitement up Steve’s spine. the women giving them a thank you and then rushing way probably to rejoin her friends.

“Thanks, but I can handle myself,” Steve said picking himself up and dusting off his pants.

“Is that what you call that?” The Soldier asked. Steve actually did a double take, he had never heard the man talk before. His voice sounded gruff, but not unkind. It wasn’t what Steve had imagine him sounding like, but perfect nonetheless.

“I had him on the ropes,” Steve said. The Soldier snorted.

“I’m Steve” he said.

“I know who you are. You’re the artist,” The Soldier said.

Steve was at a loss. He didn’t think he was even a blip on the Soldier’s radar. The Soldier didn’t offer his own name and Steve wasn’t sure if that was because he assumed Steve already knew it or didn’t want Steve to know. Steve stood there and stared dumbly at the Solider unsure of what was happening.

“You shouldn’t pick fights with people who are twice your size. You’re going to get yourself killed someday,” The Soldier warned. Steve bristled.

“I don’t like bullies,” Steve said. The Soldier smiled.

“You’re a good man Steve Rogers,” The Soldier stand before turning and walking away. Steve was left rooted to the spot unsure if he had imagined the conversation due to a concussion or if it had actually happened. Eventually he gathered himself up and walked back to his tent, hoping that the conversation was a signal of more things to come.

 

Steve had a pretty decent crowd of people at his booth and the tips were great, he was definitely going to be able to afford his medicine he just needed to walk into town the next day before they headed off. It was important for him to get more tomorrow because their next stop was a couple days away which meant he would have to go without if he didn't stock up now.

He had enough customers that he ended up working through the show which while disappointing was still good business. He was just about to pack up when someone fell onto the stool heavily, the wood of the stool creaking under the weight. Steve looked up hands aching from use, to see the Winter Soldier. He was still in full costume and makeup. Sitting this close Steve could study the man’s face.

“Hello, did you want you portrait done?” Steve asked when the Soldier remained silent. There was the barest of nods. Steve set to work trying to capture the life his saw in the man before him. He spent much longer trying for perfection on the Soldier's portrait than he did on the circus patrons. He went for a realistic headshot instead of the caritures he churned out for other customers, he didn’t think the Soldier would appreciate that. The entire time he worked the soldier said nothing. It was a little unsettling and Steve wished they would go back to the gentle teasing of their first encounter, but Steve would take what he could get.

When Steve was finished he turned his easel to face the soldier. Steve fidgeted in his seat waiting for the soldier's verdict. He wasn't necessarily nervous because he knew his art was good, he got enough practice at his job, but the Soldier was way more intense than his usual patrons and Steve wanted to impress him.

“It is very good,” The Soldier said. Steve preened a little bit under the praise, he wasn’t ashamed of that. It felt good to be recognized by someone he admired.

“Thank you. I feel bad since I don’t actually know your name,” Steve prompted when the Soldier didn’t offer anything else. He would feel bad about prying but it was just a name.

“Bucky,” The man said a little taken aback.

“Bucky? Seriously?” Steve asked without thinking. He wanted to slap himself after the fact. Here he was finally getting the chance to talk to the Winter Soldier, and he insulted his name. He half expected the guy to punch him, but instead Bucky grinned at him almost embarrassed.

“It’s a nickname,” Bucky said. Steve waited for him to elaborate, and when Bucky didn’t Steve dropped it. It wasn't worth scaring him off. They stood there staring at each other for a few seconds. Steve had no idea what to say to the man but he didn’t want Bucky to just walk away.

“Do you want to walk into town with me?” Steve asked. He needed to visit a pharmacy and the walk might give him a chance to get to know Bucky a little better. He expected Bucky to say no so he was more than a little surprised when the man nodded and stood up. “Oh! Let me just get this stuff packed up.” Steve busied himself with trying to pack up his little station as quickly as possible.

They walked in silence at first, Bucky not offering any conversation and Steve unsure of how to start one. The walk was a short one, only about a mile but exercise of any kind left Steve feeling winded. He tried to breath subtly, but his breath was coming out heavily than their leisurely pace really warranted. Bucky must have noticed despite his efforts to hide it, because he slowed down a fraction walking at a pace more comfortable for Steve.  Normally Steve would hate that kind of babying but his lungs really did hurt.

“I need to pick up some medicine from the pharmacy. Do you need to stop anywhere?” Steve asked when they got into town. Bucky shook his head. “We could get dinner? It would be nice to eat something from a real restaurant,” Steve offered. Bucky nodded in agreement.

It didn’t take Steve too long to get what he didn’t at the pharmacy. Having grown up ill Steve knew what he needed to stock up on. He felt a little embarrassed when Bucky looked over his rather large pile of medicine. He bet a guy like Bucky never got sick. Steve quickly paid for his purchases and shived the bag under his arm out of sight.

They found a little diner to eat out that was on their way back to the circus. Steve never had much of an appetite and only nimble don his food, but Bucky scarfed down his food like he was afraid it was going to be taken away from him. Steve watched fascinated. It seemed like food had put Bucky in a better mood because he was smiling at Steve. They ended up staying in the diner talking for hours drinking refill after refill of coffee. It almost felt like a date, but Steve knew better than that. He was almost sad though when they parted ways for Steve to go back to his tent and Bucky back to the trailer he shared with his partner.

Somehow after all these years illness still managed to sneak up on Steve. Of course he knew the signs, the tightness in his chest, a pain in his head that wouldn't go away, tiredness that seeped into his bones, but still when the actual illness took over and Steve was stuck in his bed unable to do more than just lie there and hope he didn't die, it was always a surprise. It was times like this that made Steve aware of just how much he had relied on his mother. Steve always missed his mother but it was times when he was sick and all he wanted was a little human compassion that he ached for his mother.

Stuck in bed, too weak even to draw or read, Steve was left to stare up at the ceiling of the trailer. At least they were on the road so he wasn’t missing out on the opportunity to work. Dr. Erskine, the circus physician, had already come to see him. Over the last couple years Steve had become close personal friends with the Doctor. It was only natural since he was the man’s most frequent patient. Dr. Erskine had left him with some awful tasting medicine and strict orders to stay in bed. Too weak to do anything else, Steve was forced to obey.

Steve arranged himself so at the least he could look out the train’s window to see the scenery passing by. They were heading out of the desert toward Middle America so Steve was able to see the arid landscape slowly shift to green pastures. If his hands had had the capability of holding a pencil he would have drawn the landscape speeding by, but he had to settle for just watching.

The door of the cabin slid open. Steve assumed it was Dr.Erskine coming to check on him, since he had been moved to the quarantined cabin to prevent any of the valuable performers getting sick.  The aroma of chicken noodle soup hit his nose both making his stomach threaten to revolt and rumble in hunger. He hadn’t been able to hold anything down for the over 24 hours and he was starting to get desperate.

“If you don’t eat something you are going to fade into nothing, you’re already so small,” a familiar gruff voice who was definitely not Dr. Erskine said. Bucky placed the bowl of soup down and  moved to help Steve sit up, but Steve jerked way.

“I don’t need you to patronize me,” Steve said bristling.

“All I did was bring you soup,” Bucky said eyebrows raised placing a dinner tray in front of Steve.

“Yeah well i didn’t order it was a side of patronizing bullshit,” Steve said bitterly. His mom always told him he got mean when he was sick. He felt a little stab of regret at every time he had tried to push his mother away when she was trying to help him. Taking a deep breath he said, “I’m sorry that isn’t fair of me. Thank you for the soup.’ Bucky waved him off.

“It’s alright. Do you mind if I sit with you?” Bucky asked. Steve noticed the book in his hand. No one other than his mom had ever sat with him while he was sick, he had never had anyone else who cared. Steve nodded and Bucky settled down in the chair across from the bed and opened his book.

Steve had worried that it would be awkward with Bucky sitting there but it wasn’t. Steve let his mind wonder and ended up studying Bucky. The man was engrossed in his book and didn’t seem to notice Steve spying on him. Bucky mouth moved a little while he read, mouthing the words every so often. He ended up falling asleep watching Bucky. When he woke he felt a little better but was disappointed by the empty chair.

Even though he was still feeling ill Steve needed to work. He set up an umbrella for the hottest part of the day to give himself some comfort but there was no getting around the fact that his art was nowhere near as good as it normally was. No customers complained and they all seemed satisfied with their pieces, but his professional pride took a hit. By the time the circus was packing up again Steve was starting to feel better.  Steve was still getting over his bout with the flu and his body was still infuriatingly weak so as he tried to lift his trunk onto the train he struggled.

“I can help you,” Dr. Erskine said.

“Thanks, but I can handle myself,” Steve said with gritted teeth. It was getting so bad even old men were offering to help him.

“I meant I can cure everything that ails you,” Dr. Erskine said. Steve just stared at him confused to what the hell he was talking about. Steve’s chronic illness wasn’t something you could cure. Every day was a battle in a war Steve’s body was losing. While he could win a few battles here and there, the war wouldn’t end until Steve joined his mother.  “I have developed a serum that will turn the ordinary man into something extraordinary. I want you to be the first to receive the serum.”

Dr. Erskine had the reputation of being a little eccentric. Everyone knew he was more of a scientist than a doctor, but he took care of everyone in the circus so they didn’t pay attention to his experiments.

“If we can make the perfect man we will be that much closer to curing illnesses and saving lives” Dr. Erskine continued. “You will be at peak performance for man, imagine living without the constant pain of a bad back or the fear of an errant asthma attack. This serum is meant to cure ailments,” Dr. Erskine said.

Steve pictured being able to help around the circus or even just be able to go for a walk without fearing an asthma attack. Not having to worry about freezing to death in the winter because his body couldn't maintain heat. Or even just being able to see all the colors of the circus. It was selfish but he wanted that the most.

“Alright I’ll do it,” Steve said. Dr. Erskine smiled.

“Thank you Steven. We will start your training tomorrow,” he said before leaving. Steve felt a little dazed about what just happened. He had pretty much agreed to let the man experiment on him.

The next day Steve didn’t know what to expect. He wasn’t sure if the Doctor would need some of his blood or something, what he didn’t expect was to be faced with the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“My name is Peggy Carter and I am here to test what you can do and train you for what is about to come,” she said in a firm voice. She stood with her bad ramrod straight, every hair in place.

She instructed Steve in some basic exercises that probably would have been a breeze for literally anyone else, but Steve just failed miserably. At the end of the day he was worried that she was going to tell him that he wasn’t good enough for the program. He watched nervously as she wrote everything down on her clipboard.

“I can do better, just give me a little time,” Steve pleaded when she finally looked up.

“That’s why Dr. Erskine and I are here. You did fine Steve, you just need a little training,” Peggy said with a smile. Relief rushed through Steve, he hadn’t blown his shot at fixing his body.

Over the next couple weeks Steve spent all of his free time with Peggy training. She had him doing all kinds of exercises that left him gasping for air and body sore. Every night he would climb into his bed, body protesting every movement. He pushed himself as hard as he could though. He wanted to prove that he deserved a chance at a new body. He wouldn’t let Peggy or Dr. Erskine down.  

Steve hadn’t told Bucky about Dr. Erskine yet, but he knew that Bucky knew. Everyone at the circus knew. It was hard to keep anything a secret in a community a close knit as theirs. Steve hadn’t been avoiding Bucky but he had been so busy with training lately that he didn’t have the opportunity to see him as much, even just from the ground watching the acrobat perform.

“You don't need to let him experiment on you to be a good person,” Bucky said appearing out of nowhere behind Steve who had to quickly hunch over to hide the fact he had actually been drawing Bucky.

“He can make me useful,” Steve said defensively. He closed his sketchbook and glared up at Bucky.

Bucky wouldn’t be able to understand the situation. It would be wrong for Steve to pass up the chance to rid himself of all the alignments that plagued him. He wasn't any use to anybody the way he was. When the circus tore down and set up it was all hands on deck, expect for Steve. He couldn't even help there. He really didn't deserve the generosity the circus had shown him but they let him stay anyway. If they hadn't taken him in he would be dead, Steve knew that. If he was stronger he could start to pull his own weight.

“People don’t need to be useful,” Bucky said sounding so personally distraught Steve reached out to place a hand on his forearm instinctively to comfort the man. Bucky looked down at the hand and then back up at Steve as if he was shocked at the touch. Steve almost withdrew his hand, worried that he had overstepped his boundaries but gave Bucky’s arm a little squeeze.

“You know the doctors told my ma I wouldn’t even make it a month? She told those doctors to fuck off, I was her baby and she would see me live. I’ve spent my whole life needing other people to take care of me. This is my chance to be be able to take care of myself. I would be a fool not to take this chance Buck,” Steve said voice breaking.

“You don’t need to be fixed Steve and that serum isn’t a solution. It is evil,” Bucky said. Steve studied Bucky for a moment The tense line of his shoulders and determined look on his face had Steve second guessing himself.

“What aren’t you telling me Bucky?” Steve asked.

“I can’t tell you Steve. I don’t want to drag you into it, but don’t take that serum. Please, I’m begging you,” Bucky pleaded.

“I have to Bucky. You gotta understand that, what would I be if I didn’t take the chance to be able to give back to the people who have been taking care of me,” Steve said. Bucky growled in frustration.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you when this blows up in your face or you get yourself killed,” Bucky said stomping away. Steve watched him leave confuse and dread in his stomach. He wasn't sure why Bucky had felt the need to warn him, but was annoyed that Bucky would deny him this opportunity at the same time. He thought back to the unnatural straight Bucky showed and wonder if Bucky had been talking from experience. Steve shrugged the thought off, Dr. Erskine had said Steve would be the first to receive the serum and why would he lie about something like that. Something else must being going on with Bucky.

Altogether it took about a month and a half for Dr. Erskine and Peggy to declare him ready for the serum. In true circus fashion Steve was going to be administered the serum in front of an audience. Fury the owner of the circus had commissioned Steve to draw up posters to advertise his own experiment and the crowds had come pouring in. It seemed everyone wanted to see the miracles of modern science.

Steve had never been in front of the crowd before. When he had first started doing live portraits of people he had been acutely aware of the crowd watching him but he got lost in his work and didn't notice. Now though he was standing in front of hundreds of people without a shirt on. He couldn’t help the hunch in his shoulders, trying to hide as much of himself as possible. For once he was glad for his bad ear so the noise was just a low drone and he couldn’t pick out anything anyone was saying; he was sure no one had anything flattering to say about his body.

“Ladies and gentlemen tonight you will witness the making of the perfect man. He will perform at peak human performance and will know no peer. He will be able to lift more than any other man, run faster be better,” Howard said. Howard Stark was Dr. Erskine partner in developing the serum and the bigger showman of the two. Steve knew Dr. Erskine was more interested in the science of making the perfect man, but Howard was clearly doing it for the challenge and attention.

Steve climbed into the tube only a little embarrassed that he needed to be lifted a little by the assistant. Howard continued to dazzle the crowd with an explanation of what was going to happen to Steve. Dr. Erskine had explained all of this to Steve the night before so he just focused on his breathing and not having a panic attack.

“You'll be alright Steve,” Peggy said leaning in to strap Steve down.

“I know,” Steve said because all he could do was have faith at this point, the only other option wasn't great.

The lid of the tube closed and it was like the world went quiet. Steve couldn't hear or see the crowd even though he was sure they were at the edge of their seats waiting for the action. Then there was nothing but pain. It was like nothing Steve had ever felt before. It felt like all of the bones in his body were breaking over and over again. All Steve could do was scream. He was going out of his mind with the pain but then he heard Peggy yelling for the machine to be shut off.

“No!” Steve yelled panicking. “I can do this!”

Steve wished he could just pass out to stop feeling but he was excruciating conscious the whole time. He couldn't breath and what air he was able to get went to screaming in pain.

Then it all stopped. Steve felt a sore stiffness to his body but even that was fading fast. The machine started to open up and Steve stumbled out only to be caught by Dr. Erskine and Howard. Steve stood up straight and looked down at his hands, they were huge. He had always had hands a little too big for his body, but now his arms matched. Steve tried to looked down at himself, he wished they had thought to bring a mirror, and almost landed on his ass in shock at what he saw.

“We've done it.” Dr Erskine said quietly clearly in shock. Then there was a gunshot and the doctor collapsed. Steve dove toward him. There was blood everywhere.

Steve felt like his world had zero in on the Doctor in his arms. In the background he could hear the crowd screaming but it was just a dull roar even with his new hearing. He looked up trying to locate the shooter. His eyes landed on Bucky who was staring at him grimace on his face. For a heart stopping second Steve thought Bucky was the shooter, then he noticed a man fleeing the scene, gun in his hand.

Steve chased after the shooter trying to dodge the circus patrons. He needed to find a way to get the man away from the crowd, there was too much risk of a bystander getting shot.

Steve felt his heart clench with panic as he rounded the corner to see the man holding a child at gunpoint. He was just an artist, he didn't know how to fight. He may get into fights every other day but he knew more about taking a hit than actually throwing a punch. Grabbing a trash can kid he chucked it at the guy hitting him in the head. He stumbled back releasing the child. Steve dove between the two trying to protect the child the best he could.

Unsure of himself Steve took a swing the guy crumpled to the ground. Steve grabbed the front of his shirt and shook the guy.

“Who sent you?” He demanded.

“Cut off one head two more will take its place. Hail Hydra,” the man spat in Steve’s face before biting into a hidden pill. Steve watched the man die horrified.

Steve dropped his taking a step back. A crowd had formed around him and they started to clap. Steve get sick to his stomach, two men had just died. People were congratulating him on saving the boy, which he was proud of but a good man had just been shot and they had no idea why. Steve looked up at the crowd and spotted Bucky standing in the back watching him. Before Steve could call out to him Bucky disappeared.

That night was a mixed affair for the circus. On the one hand one of their own had been killed and the circus was in mourning but on the other Steve’s transformation had created a buzz. People would not stop coming up to him, talking to him like they were old friends. Steve had gotten used to being an invisible part of the circus, so now that people wanted to talk to him he was at a lost as how to act. He felt himself getting tongue tied conversation dying awkwardly when he didn’t know how to respond.

And people kept trying to touch him. Women and men would walk up to him, grab his arm or chest and exclaim about how real it felt. Every time Steve had to awkwardly laugh it off but it was the worst. It wasn’t until late into the night that Steve was able to excuse himself from the crowd wanting to hear him tell the story again. He didn’t understand why people wanted to keep hearing it as if it all hadn't happened just a few hours ago.

It wasn't until Steve got back to his personal area that he realized he didn't have any clothes to change into. All of his clothes wouldn't fit past his shoulders. Steve had a bed in the communal trailers but more often than not he would put up his own tent away from the trailers. It was the only way to get even the illusion of privacy. Steve’s little one person tent went from being roomy to the wrong side of cozy.  

Steve dragged his sleeping bag out of the tent and threw it down in the least rocky patch he could find. He used to be able to bundle up in the sleeping bag but now it was feeling a little more snug. Looking up at the stars made Steve feel small, it made him feel normal.

Steve had half been expecting to wake up the next morning back to his pathetic self but when the first light of sunrise woke him up he was still huge.Throughout the day Steve struggled to go about his usual business. He snapped two his pencils accidentally and kept hitting his head on things.

The news of Steve’s miraculous transformation and subsequent heroics had traveled all over the country so as the train pulled into new towns there were crowds waiting just to see Steve. The circus owner Nick Fury had quickly pulled Steve aside and given him his own strongman act. Steve was an attraction and there was no reason for the circus not to take advantage of it. Steve was able to to draw in crowds now instead of just drawing them on paper.

Steve had spent the last couple years watching the center ring from the sidelong but now he was standing in it looking like an idiot. The music started and Steve tried his best to not step on anyone’s toes. The bit ended with him lifting three girls on a motorcycle. The crowd ate it up while Steve had never felt more ridiculous in his life. He probably would have felt a little better about it if they hadn’t dressed in up in red, white and blue spandex. The papers were calling him an all American hero so the circus had dressed him up accordingly.

Steve was shuffled into the dressing room just as the acrobats were going on stage. Steve tried to catch Bucky’s attention to wish him luck but Bucky wouldn't even look at him. A cold sense of dread filled Steve. Ever since the serum Bucky had ignored Steve’s existence. Steve knew that Bucky hadn’t approved of Steve decision, but he had expected his friends to respect it. It hurt to see Bucky’s blank expression turned on him.

On the other hand Steve was catching the Black Widow studying him more and more often. Steve would be eating dinner with a group of the chorus girls for his act and look up to see the Widow watching him from her spot sitting next to Bucky. Steve could feel her eyes on him and didn’t know what it meant. He wished Bucky was still talking to him, but Bucky was actively avoiding him now.

A side effect of no longer being a drain on society was that people actually wanted to be around Steve. They laughed at his jokes and listen to him speak seemingly captivated. While his body may look nothing like the boy his mother gave birth to, he felt the same. It made Steve a little uneasy the amount of people who suddenly become his ‘friends’ after the serum.

“He’ll get over it eventually you just have to wait him out,’ the Widow said coming to sit next to Steve as he ate his dinner. Steve looke dup first over at Bucky who was scowling at them and then to the Widow who looked so casual, like they talked all the time.

“Excuse me?” Steve asked more than a little confused.

“James. He’s mad you didn’t take his advice, but he’s a big boy and realize it was your decision to make soon enough. I’m Natasha by the way,” Natasha said taking a bite of her dinner. Steve just gaped at her. It took Steve a minute to figure out that James was Bucky, there wasn't really anyone else it could be.

“His name is James? How did he get Bucky from that?” Steve asked. Natasha rolled her eyes. Steve wasn't sure how it happened but somehow he went from just watching the aerialists from the ground to being their friends.

“Just give him time and he’ll come around,” Natasha said again before changing the subject to the local gossip. Natasha started sitting with in more often at meals and even chatted with him back stage during shows. Steve could always see Bucky scowling over a them. He wondered if Bucky was jealous of Steve taking Natasha’s attention, but decided against that theory. Bucky and Natasha were partners in the air, they had to have total trust in each other to be able to perform their act. Bucky wouldn’t be threatened just from Natasha spending time with other people. Steve really hoped Natasha was right and Bucky would come around to talking to him again because he missed his friend.

It was a lot more difficult to navigate the crowded fair grounds now that he was tall. When he was small people didn't really notice him and he was able to able to slip in between the crowd without much hassle. Now people recognized him from the promotional posters. The fact that Nick had asked him to draw a promotional poster of himself was still surreal. Sitting in front of a mirror trying not to die of embarrassment as he designed the poster was a challenge.

He was supposed to be on the side stage for the pre-show warm up with the rest of the dancers for his act, but he was running late which was unlike him. The fairground was packed with people playing carnival games and riding the small rides they had open before the show. It was making Steve run even later as he had to push his way through crowds of people disinclined to letting him through.

Steve loved the carnival games. He had always loved watching people play them while he waited for customers at his own booth. He loved seeing the joy on the face of children when they were handed a prize of the gentle kiss a dame would give her date after he won a teddy bear for her. If he had pictured himself in the place of a boyfriend winning a prize for his date that was only for him to know. His mother had always said he was a romantic.

“Step right up ladies and gentlemen! Test your sharpshooting skills. Knock and prize over and you win!” Sitwell yelled trying to attract a customer. Steve watched as a little boy scampered over and handed Sitwell his nickel in exchange for the little air gun. The boy clearly hit the teddy bear on the first try but it didn’t do move then collapse in on itself.

“You’ll have to do better than that to knock it over,” Sitwell jeered. The boy took his second shot and hit the bear again but it didn’t fall over. On the third and final try the boy found the same result. He handed Sitwell back the gun looking devastated. That nickel was probably all of his spending money and he had hit the prize all three times, he should have won in Steve’s opinion.

“This games not fair mister,” the child whined tears in his eyes. Steve was always a sucker for upset children and couldn’t just do nothing when the game was clearly rigged.

Steve had never particularly like Sitwell. He tried not to listen to the gossip but it was hard not to. Everyone whispered about how Sitwell ran crooked games and worked for a mob. Steve thought it was an exaggeration. He knew some of the smaller circuses where targets of mob activity, demanding that they pay for protection when they enter their city, but he knew nothing like that happened to their circus. Watching Sitwell now though he wasn't so sure the rumors weren't true as much as he hated to think about that implication. He didn’t want to be part of something that cheated people out of their money.

“The game is clearly rigged, let the kid have his prize,” Steve said stepping forward to stand by the boy who was sniffling. Sitwell’s gaze narrowed on Steve.

“I am a man of honor and would never rig a game,” Sitwell said sounding offended.

“Everyone knows you're a crook Sitwell, we should have run you out of here a long time ago,” Steve said standing his ground glaring back. A crowd had started to form around their raised voices. “Times are hard right now and we are a place for people to escape that. We can't rip people’s hard earned money off,” Steve said. There were a few shouts of agreement from the crowd. Sitwell started to shift a little uncomfortably.

“I would welcome anyone here to prove my game is unfair. Anyone has a fair chance of winning if they have the skill to do so,” Sitwell offered. The point of the game was to knock over the prize you wanted with the little air gun. Sitwell placed his hand behind one of the prizes and flicked it over toward the audience. “See? The game isn't rigged if you are skilled enough,” Sitwell said. Steve studied the game for a second and then realized what was happening. He hopped over the little barrier and marched toward the prizes. Sitwell tried to block him but Steve brushed him away.

Steve reset up the prize Sitwell knocked over and then tried to push it over from the angle that someone playing the game would be at. The bear wouldn't budge. Steve then tried to lift the bear straight up but it wouldn't budge either. He looked over at Sitwell who was turning red.

“Not rigged huh?” Steve said. The crowd jeered. Sitwell looked like he wanted to deck Steve, but Steve wasn't worried. He was ready to take this to Fury, but it seemed like he didn't have to since Fury took a step out of the crowd.

“Sitwell, you're out. You and your guys have an hour to clear out before I call the authorities to remove you for trespassing. We don't play crooked games at SHIELD circus,” Fury ordered. Steve stood behind Sitwell feeling smug. Sitwell’s fists clenched and I clenched but he stalked away without a comment. The crowd dissipated after that. Fury turned on Steve. “You see something you come talk to me. Don’t make a scene, you got that.” Fury ordered and walked away before Steve could say anything.

Steve was feeling a little rush of adrenaline from the confrontation and decided to go find Bucky before heading to warm up. He was already late and he was feeling pretty amped up for the show anyway. Bucky would be in his trailer that he shared with Natasha that also acted as their dressing room. Steve rapped on the door hoping that Bucky would be alone.

As luck would have it, Bucky was the one that answered. When he saw that it was Steve at the door through he moved to retreat back into the trailer. Steve stepped forward and placed a hand in the doorway to prevent Bucky from closing it in his face. Bucky relented and stood in the doorway blocking Steve from entering but not pushing him away.

“Bucky, please talk to me. I want to make this right,” Steve pleaded. Bucky won’t even look at him.

“Some of us have to get ready for the show, Steve” Bucky said shouldering Steve out of the way so he could close the door. Disappointed Steve turned and left. Bucky did have a point he really needed to get to warm up. When Steve finally did show up the girls made sure to berate him for his tardiness. He apologized and joined in the stretching.

After the show ended Steve did his best to make a beeline toward Bucky’s trailer. Everyone seemed to want to congratulate Steve on another good show though so he got held up by well wishers and circus patrons wanting his autograph.

This time it was Natasha who answered the door. Steve deflated a little.

“I'm glad to see you too. Don't worry I was just heading out to meet Clint anyway,” Natasha said giving Steve a kiss on the cheek as she passed him in the steps down from the trailer.

“Sorry, Natasha I just…” Steve said trailing off looking back at the trailer door which was slightly ajar.

“Don't worry about it, I understand,” She said sympathetically patting him on the shoulder. “You guys are going to be fine Steve,” She said before heading off. Steve had always wondered about Natasha and Clint.

Taking a deep breath Steve pushed open the door to the trailer and stepped into the doorway not fully entering. Bucky was sitting at the vanity cleaning the make up off of his face. Steve could see the light sheen of sweat on Bucky’s still bare chest. He had to fight with himself to stay focused on the mission.

“You were amazing in the show, but you always are,” Steve said. Bucky grunted and turned to finally look at Steve.

“You made it clear that my opinion means nothing to you, but I had thought that even you would be able to take a hint when you weren’t wanted,” Bucky said disdain in his voice. Steve felt his heart break.

“Fine. I’ll leave you alone then,” Steve said numbly taking a step back. He turned and left, ears buzzing so he didn’t catch what Bucky said as he left. He had never back down from a fight before but it hurt too much to stay and get rejected when it was Bucky.

Steve tried to rub his eyes as tears pooled at the edges. He shouldn't be so emotional but Bucky was his first real friend. He had liked Steve even when he was small. Steve didn't want to be fighting anymore. He wasn’t really paying attention where he walked. He should go back to his tent and get some sleep but he knew that if he did he was just going to think about Bucky and he couldn’t handle that right now, so he ended up just wandering the edge of the fairground.

He wasn’t paying attention which is why two men were able to get the jump on him and drag him off into the woods that surrounded the fairground. Steve jerked his arms throwing off the hands as they dumped him in front of Sitwell who looked pissed.

“I don't appreciate people messing with my business. My employers don't either. You would do well to keep to yourself Rogers. Things are finally starting to look good for you, it would be a shame for it all to get cut short,” Sitwell said in a threatening tone but Steve wasn't impressed. He was so not in the mood for this he wanted to go back to his tent and cry.

“And I don't like bullies. Last I checked Fury kicked you out on your ass,” Steve said. His mother always said he didn't know when to keep his mouth shut. He was pretty sure now was one of those situations but he wasn't going to let that stop him.

“You're messing with Hydra business Rogers. You better watch yourself,” Sitwell threatened. Steve thought back to the man who had killed Dr. Erskine and his final words. This was the second time someone had mentioned Hydra and Steve still didn't know what that was.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Steve said not impressed.

“Boys, will you please escort Me. Rogers out,” Sitwell said. Steve knew what came next. The two men grabbed Steve and dragged him to the edge of the fairground which bordered a forest. They dropped Steve who immediately went to punch the bigger one.

Steve was clumsy. He didn't know how to fight in his new body, no one had wanted to pick a fight with a guy who might actually win so he hadn't had any practice.

A well placed punch to the face and simultaneous kick to the back of the knees took Steve to the ground. With that the two men were finally able to get the upper hand on Steve who could just curl up and try to protect his organs. Steve couldn't help the groan that came out when one of the men kicked the back of his head. All of a sudden the blows stopped. Tentatively steve looked up to see Bucky take one of the men out with a well placed punch and then as the other man charged him Bucky was able to put him in a chokehold until he passed out.

“I thought turning yourself into a science experiment was supposed to make it so I didn't have to find you being beaten to death,” Bucky said in a rough voice looking down at Steve.

“You would think,” Steve said sarcastically as he stood up with a groan. He lifted a hand to his face and felt a bump under his eye with a wince. He hoped his accelerated healing fixed that by tomorrow because he doubted a bruised and battered strongman was very appealing to audiences. Bucky hauled Steve up and caught him with an arm around the waist when he ended up nearly keeling back over. It was almost worth the pain to have Bucky talking to him again. He had missed Bucky.

“I see you’re acknowledging my existence again,” Steve said a little bitter.

“Well if I didn’t have to save your punk ass I still wouldn’t be,” Bucky said. Steve’s mouth went sour at that. Bucky must have noticed Steve tensing up because he sighed and started walking, keeping his arm around Steve’s waist effectively dragging him. “That’s not what I meant. I just needed to time to get over my own hang ups. I missed hanging out with you,” Bucky said. Steve felt a wave of relief knowing that he wasn’t the only one who had been hurting.

“I missed you too Buck. This couldn’t have been avoided if you just talked to me,” Steve said.

“I know. I just couldn't. It also could have been socked if you had just listened to me,” Bucky said. “Why were those guys beating you up anyway?” He asked changing the topic. Steve was going to let it slide for now but Bucky wasn't going to get away with not talking to him anymore. It hurt both of them and Steve wasn't going to allow it. They needed open communication.

“I called Sitwell out on his sliminess out and public and people drew a crowd. He sicked his thugs on me. People have a right to know though. Fury kicked him out on his ass. There have always been rumors that Sitwell was crooked so I’m surprised that it's taken this long for Fury to do something about it” Steve ranted as they neared his tent. Fury was a businessman and thought more about economics than fairness but he still was at his core an honest man and wouldn't want to tarnish his circus with crooked games. Steve would have gone and seen Fury right then and there but he was so tired and Bucky was firmly leading him toward his tent and away from Fury’s office by the weight. He was so ready to crawl inside and slept. Bucky stopped in his tracks.

“You can't mess with Sitwell Steve, it's dangerous,” Bucky said sound terrified.

“Yeah I kind of noticed that when they were beating me to a pulp. Thanks for the tip,” Steve said sarcastically. Bucky’s grip on his waist got tighter.

“If you mess with their business it's going to end with more than a few bruises Steve. Sitwell and his guys don't have any problems getting rid of you if you cause them problems Steve. I know you have a hero complex but you need to leave those guys alone,” Bucky said.

“So I'm just supposed to let Sitwell get away with it?” Steve asked incredulously. He couldn't believe Bucky would tell him to do that. Bucky let out a frustrated breath through his nose like he was trying to force himself to calm down.

“This is bigger than rigged carnival games Steve. These aren't good people and you need to stay out of it,” Bucky said through gritted teeth. Bucky obviously knew something he didn't and it grated Steve’s nervous. He always hated it when people tried to hide the truth from him. His doctors had tried to hide how sick he was when he was younger, his mother had tried to hide the fact that she was dying. There was clearly something going on that had bucky so freaked out.

“If you knew me at all you would know I can't do that,” Steve said standing his ground even though he had no idea what he was getting into.

“At the very least I'm going to teach you how to fight,” Bucky said.

“What?” Steve asked surprised. He thought Bucky hated the fact that he got in so many fights.

“If you're going to start picking fights with people will actually hurt you, you are going to at least know how to defend yourself,” Bucky said.

“What like right now?” Steve asked. He didn't want to discourage Bucky’s sudden change of opinion but Steve was hurting and they really needed to talk about the two of them before they could move on.

“No, your sorry ass need to rest,” Bucky said with a laugh.

“It's not that bad,” Steve said because he really didn't think it was that bad, he had had worse beating in his life. He would give this one a solid 6 out of 10. Bucky helpfully jabbed him in the ribs right on a possibly broken rib making Steve stumble in pain. “Alright it's kind of bad, but nothing I'm not used too,” Steve said. Bucky gave him a sad look.

“You shouldn't be used to this Steve,” Bucky said.

They arrived back at Steve’s tent and Steve’s heart tensed up in fear. He didn't want Bucky to leave now. He was scared that without the threat of violence against Steve, Bucky wouldn’t talk to him tomorrow. He had Bucky here now and he wanted to talk things out before they let them fester any longer.

“Stay?” Steve asked. Bucky looked at him for a moment his eyes flickering around Steve’s face and then around the tent itself.

“Alright,” Bucky said moving to enter the tent. Steve moved out of the way so Bucky could join him. He wished now that his tent was a little cleaner. It wasn't dirty by any measure but it was cluttered. His clothes were neatly packed up but hai art supplies were scattered around the tent. He took good care of his supplies as they were his livelihood for the longest time but he still tended to leave them wherever he was working with them. He had never brought anyone back to his tent before for it hadn’t seemed like it mattered.

Now Bucky was examining his tent openly. He placed his hand on one of Steve sketchbooks and looked at Steve for permission. Steve nodded and Bucky opened the sketchbook. It was the one Steve used to work on posters for Fury so there were sketches of almost every performer in the book. Steve wasn't anxious about Bucky looking at his art. That book was meant to be seen and he already knew that Bucky thought he was a good artist.

Steve turned away from Bucky and started to change out his muddy clothes. He grimaced when he looked down at his chest and saw the bruises forming. He hoped they would fade by the morning, the dancers would worry about him otherwise. When he finished changing he turned back around to see Bucky opening staring at him. Steve’s face went flush at the attention.

“Are you going to tell me now why you have been ignoring for the last couple weeks?” Steve asked breaking the moment with only a little regret. Steve wasn't going to move on until he knew what was going on with Bucky. Natasha had been unhelpful only telling him to work it out with Bucky. Well this was him trying to work it out, but he needed Bucky To meet him halfway.

Bucky sighed and gestured asking permission to sit down, which Steve nodded at. They both sat down on Steve’s bed roll. Bucky was fidgeting with his hands.

“You completely disregarded my advice. You wouldn't even listen to me when I told you it was a bad idea to let that man experiment on you. I was scared and angry and I thought that if we didn't talk anymore it would make it hurt less,” Bucky said.

“It's my body, it's was my choice to go through with it. I had total faith in Dr. Erskine, Peggy and Howard. I wish you would have supported my decision. I grew up sickly. My mother tried to hide it from me but I know the doctors don't expect me to live to 30,” Steve said. They had had this argument before.

“But you didn't need to change Steve, you were perfect the way you were. I'm happy that you finally have a body to match your soul but I was so scared that you were going to die there in that tube screaming. You wouldn't even let me worry about you,” Bucky explained.

“Because I don't need you to worry about me! I can make my own decisions and live with the consequences Bucky,” Steve said frustrated. He had grown up with people questioning all his decisions just because of the way he looked like just being small and frail made him like a child who needed constant minding. He hated it.

“Damn it Steve I'm trying to admit that I care about you and am falling in love with you, but all you want to do is fight,” Bucky growled. That took the fight right out of Steve as he digested Bucky’s confession. He knew that Bucky cared about him, there was never a question of that. But he hadn't wanted to hope that Bucky felt the same way about him. Bucky must not have meant to say it out loud because he looked that he had some doubts about Steve’s reaction because he was hunching into himself as if to close himself off to Steve.

Steve slowly moved forward until he was leaning into Bucky and brought a hand up to Bucky’s face. He made sure to give Bucky plenty of time and opportunity to separate himself with Steve. But Bucky was stock still as Steve leaned the rest of the way in pressing his lips against Bucky’s.

It wasn't Steve's first kiss and it wasn't even much of a kiss. It was just the press of lips against lips before Bucky leaned back and away from Steve who fell back into his knees a little confused and disappointed. He would respect whatever Bucky wanted though. This wasn't something worth losing him as a friend over, as much as the rejection would hurt. His only fear was that it would make Bucky push him away. Bucky had already shown that he could and was willing to push Steve away.

His train of thought was interrupted though by two hands in his face pulling him in and then lips on his. His brain short circuited a little and his mouth fell open which Bucky took as in invitation because his tongue sneaked into Steve’s mouth. Steve moaned quietly at the feeling and felt the tension drain out of him as he slumped into Bucky so they were pressed chest to chest.

After a moment of bonelessness, letting Bucky control the kiss Steve’s brain kicked into gear and he lifted his hands running one through Bucky’s hair. He had always wanted to run his fingers through Bucky’s hair. He spent more time than he cares to admit to looking at it. When Bucky was performing he used his hair as if it was a part of his costume. Steve always felt a flutter when Bucky would throw his hair back. Steve loved the way that Bucky’s hair would fall into his face as he moved on the apparatus.

Steve other came up to rest on Bucky’s chest. Bucky’s own hands had moved. One moved down to steve's neck almost like he was holding Steve in place but not so tight that Steve would have to struggle to get away. His other have was caressing Steve’s cheek.

“I could hear you over thinking,” Bucky said. Steve let out a laugh that was more of a breath through his nose that Bucky probably felt because they were still extremely close together.

“You aren't going to take this back in the morning are you?” Steve asked hesitantly.

“Of course not. I have been wanting to do that since the first time I saw you face scrunched up in concentration and hands covered in lead. I'm not letting you go that easily,” Bucky reassured. The thought that Bucky had found him attractive even when he was small made Steve’s head spin.

“Go to sleep Steve,” Bucky said.

Steve wasn't sure where to settle. His tent wasn't especially large and the bed reflected that. It was hardly enough room for two men of their size. Bucky wiggled himself into the blankets and got comfortable before opening his arms out to Steve who took it as an invitation to lay down in Bucky’s arms. Steve wiggled so they were pressed chest to chest. They laid with their faces inches apart. Steve could feel Bucky’s chest rise and fall against him. He let Bucky’s heart lull him to sleep.

Steve liked to do his own prop maintenance for his act. There wasn’t a need to bother the techs with more work when he was more than capable of handling the props. He needed to add a new coat of paint to his shield for the act and had forgotten it backstage. He said good bye to Sam and Natasha who had been eating dinner with and headed to the Big Top.

Being in the big top when it was empty was a surreal feeling. The space was normally a whirlwind of activity as performers practiced their acts or the shows themselves. It was mostly dark when Steve entered but there were lights on over by the right side ring.

Bucky was in the center ring hanging from the Lyra doing pull ups. He was wearing just his black tights which allowed Steve to see the muscles in Bucky’s back strain as he pulled himself up rapidly. Steve paused where he was, slightly behind the bleachers and just watched. Bucky executed the pull ups in rapid succession and then seamless transitioned to doing straddle ups. Steve admired the strength and flexibility it took to make even a conditioning exercise look beautiful. Steve had wished he had an ounce of that strength before the serum, but now that he was strong he knew he still wouldn’t ever be able to perform like Bucky.

“Are you just going to stand there and gape at me?” Bucky asked his voice echoing throughout the tent. Steve’s face flushed at being caught. He took a step out, walking to meet Bucky under the Lyra. Bucky looked down at him and then dropped gracefully to the ground. He stood back up and Steve was grateful they were alone so he could openly watch the sweat roll down Bucky’s chest and the way that his tights left nothing to the imagination.

“You should try it,” Bucky said startling Steve out of his trance.

“What?” Steve asked thrown off.

“The hoop. You should try it. I see the way you watch Nat and me. You should try it,” Bucky said nodding up to the hoop. Steve stared up at it. Impossibly it felt like the longer he stared the higher it got.

“You’re crazy. If I try to get up there I’m going to hurt myself and then you’re going to have to deal with Fury when I can’t perform,” Steve said. Bucky grimaced at the thought.

“You’ll be fine, after all you’ll have an excellent teacher,” Bucky said eyelids fluttering for a second. Steve laughed and relented. He did want to try even if he did think it was a terrible idea. He was going to fall, he already knew it.

Steve had to almost vault himself straight up in order to reach the hoop. Once he was dangling from the bottom he was at a lost on how to get up into the hoop. Bucky had made it look so easy.

“Tilt back so your legs go through your arms and then hook your legs,” Bucky said as Steve floundered. He tilted back and had to grab on to the hoop with one foot at a time to haul himself up. “Now take your hands off,” Bucky said.

Steve slowly removed his hands so he was hanging by his knees. It felt surprisingly secure. He beat up up to grab the outside of the hoop. He had to struggle a little to pull himself into the hoop and his ended up sticking his ass out in a pretty unattractive way. Bucky walked him through a couple of moves which Steve really tried to get but just ended up looking terrible.

“Alright lift yourself off the front and then tilt back until your are in a straddle split. You're legs will rest against the hoop and your lower back will lock you in,” Bucky explained. It was hard to picture what he was saying but Steve gave it his best shot. He didn’t have a problem lifting himself but it was the going back into a russian split that got him. He slipped through the back of the hoop head first. Thank goodness there was a mat.

“Fuck,” Steve said rolled over to sit up. He was more embarrassed than hurt.

“Falling doesn’t haven’t to be something traumatic. You can fall out of a trick and just move on,” Bucky said. Steve was sure that Bucky had fallen many times as he learned his craft but he always got back up there. Bucky nodded at Steve encouragingly and then looked back up at the hoop. With a feeling of determination Steve jumped back up to the hoop and clumsily threw himself into it.

“I’m going to come up and we are going to try a partner move,” Bucky said.

Bucky jumped up grabbing the bottom of the hoop. It was kind of unavoidable but Bucky’s hands ended up bracketing Steve’s ass, he could feel them. His face heat up at the contact which was ridiculous because at this point Steve had touched Bucky with roaming hands as they kissed. He didn’t need to feel embarrassed by Bucky’s touch.

“Spread your legs Steve,” Bucky orders. Steve sputtered but did what was requested. Bucky stuck his foot right next to Steve’s crotch. “Now squeeze my foot and lean back a little,” Bucky continued. He felt more weight as Bucky started to let go of the hoop one hand at a time. Steve clenched his thighs as hard as he could and thought for a moment he was going to crush the metal hoop as his grip tightened. He really didn't want to drop Bucky on his head. He tried to look down to where Bucky hung by a foot. He could feel when Bucky moved with his thighs. He could see how Bucky drew his free foot to his knee in an upside down Passé. From there Bucky grabbed the inside of his foot and lifted the leg into the spilt. Steve hands suddenly got a sweaty which was not helpful since he was the only thing holding Bucky in the air at the moment. He saw when Bucky released his foot and crunched up and grabbed the bottom of the hoop.

“Alright, I'm coming up you can let go of me. Scoot over,” Bucky said tapping Steve’s thigh before grabbing the hoop.

“What do you mean scoot over? There's nowhere to go?” Steve asked. Even from the awkward angle he could see Bucky roll his eyes. Steve released Bucky’s foot and watched as Bucky lowered into a dead hang.

“Move over to one side of the hoop so I can climb up,” Bucky explained. Steve scooted over the best he could but there really wasn't much room to work with.

Bucky straddled back and hooked one leg onto the hoop and then climbed up the side of the hoop and twisted in so he was sitting next to Steve facing the opposite direction. They had no other option than sit thigh to side, the curve of the hoop dumping Steve closer to Bucky. He was freaking out but Bucky seemed completely unfazed which he probably wasn't because he did this all the time.

“Now let go with your left hand and swing out toward your left. It's called mermaid. I'm going to do the same thing,” Bucky said. Steve gripped the hoop harder because he didn't think he was going to be able to stay in the hoop with only one hand. Steve did it though he slowly let go and started to tilt over. He felt like he was going to fall and immediately sat back up. Bucky laughed but not unkindly. He nodded in encouragement. Steve swallowed hard and set his mouth because he was going to get this. He tilted over with more conviction this time and his lower legs tilted up and pressed against hoop making him feel stable. He felt a moment of instability as Bucky moved into the position and then even more secure as Bucky’s body locked him in place.

“Now come back to sitting,” Bucky said. Steve tilted back so he was sitting back inside the hoop. “For this one I am going to climb up to the top of the hoop. Sink into your knee pits to give me room,” Bucky said. Steve did as he was ordered and watched as Bucky pulled over the top of the hoop and locked himself around the ropes like he was on a trapeze in a catchers hang. He leaned down and placed his hands around the back of Steve’s head where his head met his neck. Their faces were only inches apart. Bucky smiled down at him.

“You can take your hands off Steve. I’ve got you,” Bucky said. Steve trusted Bucky so he slowly released his hands from the hoop. “Lean  back and straight your body,” Bucky said taking Steve’s weight. Even though Bucky was the only thing holding them in the air at this point Steve felt secure. He just looked up into Bucky’s eyes and smiled. It felt like he was floating This must be what Bucky felt all of the time. They stayed there looking at each other, floating.

Bucky guided him back to hanging by his knees so he could dismount the hoop. From the ground he watched Bucky gracefully lower down. Steve felt accomplished. He had never dreamed that he would ever actually try aerial. He had always watched a little bit in love with it but never once had he thought he would be up there.

“Ok, I'm never doing that again” Steve said when he had his feet firmly planted on the ground. Bucky laughed at him. He knew that if Bucky wouldn’t have to try all that hard to convince him to get back up there, but he was still a little terrified of it.

“I think next we should try the trapeze,” Bucky said with an edge of teasing. Steve looked up at where the flying trapeze was rigged. While the idea of flying was appealing but there was no way that was happening, at least not right now.

Steve was feeling a little adrenaline high from the experience. It wasn’t even that much but in this moment he had excitement pumping through his veins and complete faith in Bucky. He surged forward to kiss Bucky. It was risky to kiss Bucky out in the open like this but Steve didn’t care he just wanted to feel Bucky’s lips on his. Bucky responded in kind, if not a little surprised.

When they pulled away from each other Steve’s eyes were half lidded with want. He was ready to take his relationship with Bucky to the next level.

“I think we better take this back to your tent,” Bucky said looking equality disoriented. Steve nodded in agreement and they left. They walked back to Steve’s tent pressed closely against each other. The went the long way around the the trailers and other tents so they would run less of a risk of running into anyone. At this point anyone who saw them would be able to guess what they were about to do.

As soon as they were in Steve’s tent Bucky was on him, pushing him onto the bed with a brutal kiss. Steve let himself melt back as Bucky laid half on top of him.

Steve moaned into Bucky’s kiss unabashedly. He wasn’t ashamed of how Bucky made him feel. Before the serum every sensation felt dull, but now every touch set Steve’s skin on fire. Bucky’s hands ran down Steve’s chest toward his pants. Steve’s heart picked up. He had never done anything below the waist before but oh god he wanted to with Bucky. He trusted Bucky to teach him what to do.

Bucky’s hand fumbled with Steve’s belt. Bucky broke the kiss to look down and finish undoing the belt and the button of the pants at the same time.

Bucky took Steve’s cock in his hand and slowly started to stroke Steve to full hardness. Bucky thumbed at the head of Steve’s cock which was leaking precome. Someone else’s hand on his cock was amazing. Bucky’s hand was calloused and Steve could feel them as Bucky gently stroked him. The feeling was slightly marred by the dry chaffing, but Steve was didn’t care he just wanted Bucky to keep touching him. Bucky must have noticed his discomfort because he withdrew his hand. When Steve let out a whine not wanting to lose the sensation Bucky silence him with a kiss.  

Bucky quickly grabbed Steve’s well stocked first aid kit and grabbe dout his little tin of vaseline. When his hand returned to Steve’s dick the slide was much more smooth and Steve moaned deeply. It didn’t take long for Steve to feel his orgamas climbing. He cried out and slumped back into the bed as he came down from the high. Bucky looked please still hald above him. Steve relaxed back and enjoyed Bucky’s attention for a moment before starting to move. He manhandled Bucky so the acrobat was laying on the bed.

Steve sunk down until he was face to face with Bucky’s clothed erection. He had never been this up close to someone else's cock before but the thought of it belong to Bucky excited him. He slowly slid down Bucky’s tights and underwear freeing his erection.

A little unsure of himself Steve slowly wrapped his mouth around Bucky’s dick. He had never had a dick in his mouth before but Bucky’s moan reassured him. He started to suck on the head tasting Bucky.

“Ugh that's if Steve, just like that,” Bucky moaned hand coming down to rest on the back of Steve’s head sort of petting Steve’s hair, it felt nice he would have to ask Bucky to do that again when he didn’t have Bucky’s cock in his mouth. Steve went back to work.

Bucky was making these aborted thrusts into Steve, like his body was thrusting without him meaning too and aborting at the last second. Steve liked to think that he was making Bucky feel so good he was losing a little bit of control. Steve hollowed his cheeks and tried to take Bucky down a little further. Bucky moaned at the sensation. It wasn’t long before Bucky was tugging at Steve’s hair and moaning a warming. Steve let Bucky come in his mouth but choked a little bit.

“Shit doll. That was amazing,” Bucky said laying on the bed boneless. Steve washed out his mouth and spit outside the tent before going to lay next to Bucky. Bucky tucked Steve into his side.

Steve woke up disoriented.  He felt constricted and struggled against his bonds for a moment before remembering that the thing holding him in place was Bucky’s arms. He still wasn’t used to how clingy Bucky got in his sleep. Bucky was plastered against his back, arm wrapped around Steve’s waist like a vice holding him in place. It was comfortable and Steve was tempted to let himself fall back asleep. He opened his eyes and saw Bucky’s sleeping face. With a little regret Steve got up and got dressed to go on a run.

“Where are you going?” Bucky asked in a groggy voice. Steve couldn't resist, he leaned down and kissed him in the forehead.

“I'm going for a run. I'll be back in a little bit,” Steve said. “Want to come?” Steve asked as an afterthought. Bucky grunted out a laugh and then pulled the blanket over his head Steve left the tent with a smile and started to jog off.

The novelty of being able to run without having an asthma attack was something Steve had yet to get over. He had always been a morning person. It used to be when he worked on personal art projects, things that no one would ever see like portraits of his mother or yet another sketch of Bucky. Ever since the serum though Steve had taken up running around the the outside of their encampment. The feeling of his lungs straining for air was familiar but knowing that it wasn't a bad thing was strange. The dull ache of his legs after his run was always welcome.

It was als nice to be alone for at least his morning run. There were plenty of people up in the early hours, they had to if they were going to be prepared for show in the afternoon, but no one else was out running. Well most of the time there wasn't anyone on Steve’s path. As he jogged to warm up he saw Sam up ahead. Sam was a falconer. Steve admire Sam’s ability to train his Falcons to perform an amazing act without being cruel to his animals. None of the animal trainers at SHIELD abused their animals but Steve had heard horror stories about how animals were treated at other circuses.

As Steve approached Sam he called out, “On your left,” and ran past. He ended up lapping Sam a couple of times each time calling out finding it amusing how annoyed Sam got each time. After he finished his run and found Sam collapsed under a tree. He was worried for a second that Sam had overexerted  but when Sam saw him approaching he sat up.

Steve offered him some of his water when it looked like Sam has none. The man accorded it and drank greedily. When he was done he handed the water bottle back to Steve.

“Man you ran like 13 miles in thirty minutes.” He said still breathing a little harder than normal even though he had called it quits a while before Steve.

“I guess I got a late start,” Steve joked.

“Oh really? You should be ashamed of yourself. You should take another lap.” Sam gave him a deadpan look. “Did you just take it? I assume you just took it.” Steve laughed out at that.

“Not too long ago I would have keeled over dead just from watching you run,” Steve said with a smile.

“I almost keeled over watching you. I think my lungs died in sympathy,” Sam said. Steve laughed. It was so easy to talk to Sam. They stayed under the tree just chatting for a while as the sun fully came up.

“I have to go feed the falcons. They are little divas when they get hungry,” Sam said stepping away from Steve to head toward the section of the camp dedicated to the animals.

Steve started heading back to his own tent. He wanted to wash up and change before heading to practice. He didn't want to smell horrible for the dancers, especially since they were going to be adding in more lifts today. He didn't think they would be appreciative of him lifting him smelling like he was.

His tent was still on the outskirts of the camp which came in handy now that him and Bucky needed the space but also made the walk much longer. He walked through the camp greeting people as they started their day. Having grown up in Brooklyn Steve had thought he was pretty desensitized to seeing weird things but it wasn't until after his first couple months that he truly wasn't shocked by anything. Watching someone swallow razor blades as their warm up to starting swallowing swords? Normal morning routine. Watching a girl bend in ways that would break most people's back? Just a little stretch. Steve couldn't help but be amazed at everyone skill and total ease with owning who they were.

He made his way through the closed carnival games but stopped when he saw Fury standing with a man Steve had never seen before. The only reason for them to be out here at this time of day was to ensure they weren't overhead. There were ears everywhere and everyone was way to willing to gossip for any important meetings to take place in Fury’s formal office.

Steve normally wasn't one to eavesdrop but the stranger was wearing a suit way nicer than was really appropriate for a trip to the circus even on business. He was older, but his body language oozed confidence and power. Fury as always looked like he was he really uninterested in what was being said to him but Steve could tell it was a little forced which piqued Steve’s interest. Steve felt compelled to know what was going on.

He snuck up as quietly as he could until he was pressing his back into the wall of a ring toss stand one over from where Nick and the man were talking.

“I heard a rumor that you kicked Sitwell out on his ass Nick. You know you can't do that to my guys,” the man said. He was standing in a way that was supposed to say casual but really said ‘I'm trying to intimidate you’. “I know you were backed into a corner with Sitwell, the idiot was being too obvious and with your strongman making a scene, well you had no choice but to do something, but I think you made the wrong choice Nick,” the man said.

“Last I checked this was my circus and who works here is at my sole desertion,” Nick said.

“I thought we had an understanding Nick. You let my guys run their games and we leave you alone. All you need to do is turn your head the other way. I admit Sitwell was an idiot and got cocky but there's no reason the let the other guys go,” The man said. So this guy was Sitwell’s boss. Steve knew that Sitwell wasn’t smart enough to be the actual boss as much as Sitwell liked to pretend otherwise.

“Oh Nick, you know that isn't how this works. There are certain procedures that need to be followed to make sure no one gets hurt,” the man said in a slimy voice. The threat made Steve’s heart skip a beat. This guy had just threatened the entire circus.

“Pierce, you cannot come here and threaten my performers. I have put up with you and Hydra for long enough. We aren’t afraid of you here at SHIELD,” Nick said. The man took a step back as if he was relenting. Steve knew guys like Pierce though and knew this wasn’t the end of it. Pierce would keep pushing until he got what he wanted. Steve just hoped no one got hurt in the process.

“Just remember that I warned you. I came out here myself because I respect you Nick. You have built this circus from nothing. Don't do something stupid now and let it all go to waste. If someone gets hurt it's on your head,” Pierce said before turning to leave.

Steve’s head was reeling. How dare Pierce just come into their circus and threaten them. He was also aware of the implication that Fury had known about the crooked games all along and had tolerated them out of fear. He tried to think back to if he had ever seen Pierce around before but was drawing a blank. He wasn't really sure what to do now. Fury had mentioned Hydra. Steve needed answers. Storming off Steve made it back to his tent.

“Hey, you're back late,” Bucky said as Steve stormed over. “What’s wrong?” Bucky asked when he noticed Steve’s expression.

“I just overhead Fury talking with a guy named Pierce. I think Fury is in trouble with some bad guys Bucky,” Steve said his concern over taking his anger. Bucky’s face went pale.

“Are you sure it was Pierce? Are you positive?” Bucky asked. Steve studied Bucky who looked oddly pale. His fists were clenched his his body language tight. Bucky looked scared.

“Bucky I need to know. The man who killed Erskine said something about Hydra. Sitwell mentioned them last night and now Pierce. What's going on Bucky?” Steve asked imploring Bucky to tell him the truth with his eyes.

“Crooked carnival games and extorting money from a circus is pretty much the bottom of the barrel for these guys. You don't want to get messed up in this shit. You don't learn how to keep you head down and not see this shit you're going to get killed,” Bucky said sounding a little hysterical but avoiding giving a real answer.

“What is Hydra, Bucky?” Steve asked pleading with Bucky to tell him the truth with his eyes. Bucky wouldn't look at him.

“Hydra was originally founded by a man named Johann Schmidt. Hydra just really scammed small business charming them a protection fee. After Schmitt was out of the picture Pierce came in and that's when Hydra grew to what it is now. Pierce wasn't interested in just running a small scale operation he started to expand Hydra’s reach. These guys are everywhere Steve. They have their hands in in just about every national government in the world. Some even say they orchestrated the stock market crash just to demonstrate their power to Wall Street. These guys don’t fuck around Steve. When someone gets in the way of their business that person is removed,” Bucky said.

“How do you know all this?” Steve asked fearing the worst.

“You weren't the first person Erskine tried his serum on, although you're probably the first to give consent,”  Bucky said. Steve stomach dropped.

“My parents died when I was little, Hydra took me in and raised me to be their perfect killer. I was the best but that wasn't good enough for them. Erskine was kidnapped in order to make that serum for me. If it worked they were going to make their own army of perfect soldiers. There’s no need to hide in the shadows if you have the brute strength to overpower anyone that stands in your way,” Bucky said. Steve reached forward to place a hand on Bucky’s arm. He hesitated just before making contact to give Bucky a chance to move away if he didn't want to be touched. Bucky leaned into him and Steve took that as an invitation. Steve squeezed Bucky’s arm and then started to run his hand up and down Bucky’s arm as a show of comfort.

“I couldn’t let that happen though. Natasha and I got Erskine out before he could build Hydra’s army. The doctor didn’t want to be working for Hydra anymore than me or Natasha,” Bucky said.

“Why did you and Natasha come here then if Hydra already planted people?” Steve asked. Bucky had known about Sitwell and his men the whole time. Steve couldn’t understand why Bucky would risk getting caught up with Hydra again.

“Hydra is everywhere. It wouldn't matter where we went they would find us. We picked SHIELD because Erskine was here. We wanted to make sure Hydra didn't try and recruit him again,” Bucky explained. Steve nodded in understanding. He was just starting to understand the situation.

“Thank you for telling me all of this Bucky,” Steve said taking a hand to Bucky’s face to make the other man look at him.

“Now that you know, you need to leave these guys alone Steve. We’re just a small fry to these guys but if you start kicking up a fuss they are going to come down hard on SHIELD and it won’t just be you who gets hurt Steve. Hydra has no problem with collateral damage,” Bucky said eyes looking older than Bucky was.

“I’m starting to see that. But you can’t expect me to do nothing if I see something unjust happening. If I let injustice go unchallenged I wouldn’t be me,” Steve said. His mother had always loved how her son would stand up for those that couldn’t stand up for themselves. The Rogers didn’t have much to be proud of but his mother had been proud of him. He wouldn’t compromise that part of himself even for his own personal safety. He also didn’t want to put innocents at risk which meant he was going to have to be more careful about his approach.

“I know. I don’t like you putting yourself at risk needlessly,  but I know I can’t change you,” Bucky said leaning in for a kiss. They didn’t have time to dwell on Hydra or the potential threat because they still had a show to perform.

Steve had insisted that his spot in the show not be directly before or after any of the aerialists’ spots because he wanted to be able to watch Bucky. Nick had rolled his eyes and grumbled about primadona performers but shuffled the lineup anyway. Bucky had laughed at him and insisted that Steve would get bored watching their act three times a day on show days but Steve knew he wouldn’t.

Bucky and Natasha typically had three acts per show. That alone was a testament to their stamina because after a single act Steve always felt emotionally drained even though his body was fine. After their long stays in the city where they would stay for four days instead of the typical two Steve’s body would begin to feel the strain. Bucky and Natasha though never seemed to get tired.

Being artists they had a thousand different routines depending on the mood of the crowd they were in front of. They would start off on lyra or the cube to warm up the crowd. In the middle they would do their flying trapeze act which was always a crowd favorite especially since they always performed without a net. Personally Steve would have preferred a net under the acrobats as they flew but Natasha and Bucky both insisted that it was unnecessary and the crowds loved the danger. They also had the spot right before the closing act which they would do a silks or straps routine which was always an intimate affair. That was always Steve’s favorite act no matter what what routine they did.

Steve’s own act was always within the first couple sets because while his strength was impressive and a draw for the crowd if you would believe Coulson the ringmaster,  it certainly seemed a little less impressive after seeing all the other acts. Steve couldn’t really compete with elephants or fire breathers. The first time he had seen one of the fire performers set themselves on fire he had honest to god screamed. It was just during practice so the performer had laughed at him and showed him how to do it, but Steve didn't think he would be willing to intentionally set himself on fire.

It was the last show for their current location and Steve was already done with his act which meant he could check out mentally until it was time for him to start helping tear down. He claimed his preferred spot in the bleachers to watch the rest of the show. Most of the performers tended stay backstage once their act was over before the ending number where they would all be called out again, but Steve liked to wade into the crowd to watch. Bucky was on the catcher’s trap showing off. He lifted himself and route back until he was parallel with the ground in a skin the cat. It was an incredible about of pressure on his shoulders and abs to maintain the motion but Bucky made it look effort. Once Natasha was in place on the platform Bucky came down.

Steve watched as Bucky lined up on the catcher's trap, as Natasha took off from the platform. Natasha executed her trick with the percussion that came with years of training Bucky catching her easily. As they swung for the return one of the roles snapped. For a moment everything stood still as Steve’s vision tunneled. The roar of the crowd dulled and all Steve could see was Bucky’s eyes go wide as they started to fall. All Steve could do was watch as the two acrobats plummeted toward the ground. Bucky twisted in the air to turn them so he was shielded Natasha as they hit the ground.

The world started moving again as the aerialists laid on the ground unmoving. There was blood pooling around them. The audience was screaming and crying. The circus crew was rushing to the aerialist, placing the limp bodies on stretchers rushing them away from the audience's eye..  For a moment Steve thought the serum had failed him because he was gasping for air, unable to get enough. He could feel himself go light headed from lack of air. All he could focus on was Bucky and Natasha still not moving.

Steve pushed his way through the stupefied crowd to get to get out of the tent, so he could follow medical team to the medical trailer. As Steve struggled with his body to cooperate the ringmaster came out and shouted to get the attention of the crowd insisting that the show must go on. The circus doesn’t stop just because of an accident. The blood on the ground hadn’t even dried but the camels were being led out in the hopes to keep the audience entertained. The circus couldn’t afford to have an entire show demand their money back. Part of Steve felt sick to his stomach at the seemingly dismissal of the acrobats fate but knew that it wasn’t personal.

The medical tent was in a frenzy as Steve approached. He attempted to enter needing to see with his own eyes to confirm that the acrobats were alive, he tried not to think about the condition they would be in, the chances of either of them flying again were mincula after a fall like that.

“You can’t come in here,” the nurse Claire said managing to push Steve out of the tent. He could easily push past he, but her glare kept him from doing so.

“Please I just need to know that they are alright,” Steve pleaded desperately.

“They’ll live but we don’t know much else yet,” Claire said taking pity on him. Steve’s body when slack with relief, his knees buckling dropping him to the ground. “Are you alright?” Claire asked looking down on him with concern.

“Yeah, I’m just…” Steve said lost a little bit. He didn’t want to say relieved because even though part of him was now that he knew Bucky would live, he also started to worry about what would come after. Ambulances rolled up the tent moments later.

“They are going to transfer them to the hospital, they are going to need surgery,” Claire explained. The medical team help the circus crew transfer the acrobats from the tent into the ambulance. During the transfer Steve was able to get a glimpse at Bucky.  Steve felt bile in his throat. He was awake which was so much worse being able to see the twist of pin. His left arm was jutted out in an inhuman way.

“Bucky, it's going to be alright,” Steve called wanting to make sure the man knew he was there. Bucky’s eyes locked on to Steve's for a moment before closing.

Once the ambulance was gone the energy and tension suddenly drained away from the atmosphere. The people who had crowded over to the see them off started to dissipate. Steve still felt wound up. He wished he could have gone with them to the hospital.

As Steve stood frozen outside the medical tent memories of Pierce’s threats flashed in his mind. Fear gripped him again as he thought that the aerialists could have become victims of Hydra again. Steve rushed back to the big top where the show was still going on. He weaves between crew members and performers to get to the stage manager who would be most likely be able to help him.

“Where is the trapeze that broke?” Steve demanded once he found Maria teh stage manager.

“Rogers, I know you did not just interrupt me during the middle of an already stressful show,” Maria said eyes glaring so had Steve actually feared for his life.

“Please Maria, just point me in the direct of the trapeze,” Steve pleaded. He must look pretty pathetic because her eyes softened fractionally.

“The tech crew has it over there,” Maria said pointing over to the far corner to the the backstage area. Steve thanked her and then made his way over to where the rigging techs were examining the snapped cable.

“I don't understand. We checked that cable before the show. James checked the cable himself before the show and it was fine. There isn't a reason for it to have snapped,” one said frustration evident in his voice. Steve could feel the guilt radiating off of the techs. It was their job to make sure all of the rigging was safe. While accidents happened Steve knew that any injury the techs felt on a personal level. He knew Bucky wouldn't blame them though.

“It almost looks like it's been cut. You can see where a knife would have cut it just enough to fray and snap during the routine,” another pointed out.

“Don't be ridiculous. Who would have done that?” Another snapped in answer. Now that it was out there the theory could to be dismissed easily. Steve knew it was Hydra. He didn't know who it was. Steve had thought Fury had purged them when he got rid of Sitwell and his crew but apparently not. Steve was shaking with anger and regret. This was his fault. He was the one that caused Sitwell to be kicked out and that prompted Hydra to relalite. Bucky and Natasha may die from his inability to keep his head down.

The rest of the day passed in a daze for Steve. He stayed backstage just staring at the cut cable replaying Bucky hitting the ground over and over in his mind. It was his fault the cable shad been cut. He shouldn’t have gotten Sitwell fired. Steve thought he was going to be physically sick with the guilt when his musings were disrupted by people shouting at his to get up and get moving. Steve looked around and realized the big top was in the processed of being packed up and torn down.

“Why are we leaving? Natasha and Bucky are still in the hospital?” Steve asked in distress. They couldn't leave the aerialists behind.

“We need to be in the next city by the end of the night. When they are ready Natasha and Bucky will join us,” Sam said sympathy in his voice.

Steve felt like he was abandoning Bucky as he helped tear down the circus. There was an empty feeling in his stomach as the train pulled away. Normally the idea of being somewhere new excited Steve. During his first year as a member of the crew every city they visited was a totally new experience to him. Before his mother died Steve has never left New York, he didn't feel like he needed to his whole life fit into his little square of Brooklyn. Now after camping out under the desert skies in Arizona and feeling the Pacific Ocean, Steve would never go back. They were going to start the European tour in just a few short months. It was the first one since Steve had joined. Times weren't so great but they managed to find enough bookings that Nick was dragging the whole circus across the ocean. The idea excited Steve to no end, but now he was worried about if Bucky would be there.

There was no way someone recovered from a fall like that, he wasn't going to be able to fly again. Steve knew that. Nick was a good guy though. Once you were part of the circus you were a part of the family. Even without being able to perform their act he knew the circus would still accept Natasha and Bucky back finding them some other way to help out. A lot of performers who grew too old for their acts took over cooking or costume maintenance. Steve selfishly hoped that Bucky’s pride would allow him to stay with the circus.

Steve stared out of the train window blankly not taking in the scenery. He would normally use this time to draw or catch up on much needed rest but now he was just numb. Even with the serum coursing through his veins Steve couldn’t muster the energy to do more than just sit and stare out the window thinking about Bucky. A few of the dancers in his act had come by to check on him but he was so out of it their words just blew threw him and they left.

“You look like a kicked puppy,” Sam said from behind him. Steve turned around sharply surprised at the interruption.

“I was just worried about Natasha and Bucky,” Steve said. Sam’s smile dipping into a frown.

“We all are man. None of us like the idea of leaving them behind but you know the deal; the show must go on,” Sam said rolling his eyes at the end making Steve smile. He was glad he wasn't the only one feeling guilty about leaving. It made his guilt feel a little more rational. “We’re all in Tony’s car come join us,” Sam said placing a hand on Steve’s shoulder to guide him up. Steve didn’t really want to go but let himself be led.

Steve knew Tony but they had never really gotten along. It was artically due to the fact that Steve had accused Tony of being an arrogant selfish asshole and Tony had said Steve was only so high and mighty to compensate for being so scrawny. That had been a long time ago, back when Steve had first joined the circus. They were on better terms now but he didn’t normally get invited to Tony’s private train car.

Pretty much everyone Steve knew was in the car. Tony and his girlfriend Pepper were there obviously. Clint, Thor, Bruce, and the twins Wanda and Pietro were there too. They all looked up at him and Sam as they entered. At this point the car was overly crowded and Steve tried to fold in himself make room.

“Have you heard anything about Bucky and Natasha?” Clint asked nervously. Steve knew that this must all be just as hard on Clint as it was on Steve with how Clint cared for Natasha.

“All I know is that they were rushed to the hospital for surgery,” Steve said shaking his head. All they could do at this point was wait.

“I know that it is hard with a lover is injured. Be strong for Bucky,” hor said gripping Steve’s shoulder tightly.

“I’m not...We’re not..” Steve sputtered. He felt fear grip his heart. If they knew about him and Bucky they might tell Fury. They could get kicked out of SHIELD.

“I found you literally staring out a window like the wife of a soldier longing her her husband's return,” Sam said. Steve blushed. He had never gotten good at hiding his feelings since the only one around he to see them was his mother. It was weird having friends who could see right through him. It did nothing to ease his fear thought.

“You don’t need to hide your relationship with Barnes here. We are all outsiders at SHIELD no one is going to judge you two for who you love,” Bruce said. Steve had to look away overwhelmed with emotion. He would have been fine hiding his relationship with Bucky but now that he knew he didn’t have to; he was overwhelmed. It also hurt because Bucky wasn’t here.

“You don’t need to worry about Bucky, Steve. I saw his future and he will fly again,” Wanda said taking Steve’s hand. Wanda was a fortune teller. She had a booth where she would read people’s fortunes or get them in contact with a lost loved one. She had even helped some people get over fears. Steve wasn’t sure if he believed in all that but nodded in thanks all the same.

His friends didn’t let him out of their sight for the whole train ride which Steve was grateful for. He didn’t want to be alone to dwell on his anxiety about Bucky. By the time they arrived at the next city Fury had an announcement for them.

“While we wait on news regarding The Black Widow and Winter Solider we have tapped on Brock Rumlow and Jack Rollins to take their place in the show. I know you all will make them feel welcome,” Nick said. The two men who stood behind him looked more like strongmen than aerialists. Steve hated it. Aerialists were a big draw for the circus so with they had to have an act but it felt traitorous to be replacing Natasha and Bucky before they were even released from the hospital.

“Welcome to SHIELD Circus,” Steve said extending his hand to the two men who shook his hand. “Where were you guys performing with before?” Steve asked curious. He loved learning about other circuses and their culture.

“Strike Circus, but who wouldn't jump at the chance to perform with SHIELD?” Brock said with a toothy grin. It was true, they were the most prestigious circus in the country. Steve nodded in agreement. Brock and Jack went off after that to inspect the rigging set up for their equipment.

Steve had no reason to dislike Brock and Jack, but he couldn’t help but dislike them. They were the kind of people who would have made his life miserable before the serum. They were probably talent enough aerialists, otherwise Nick wouldn't have brought them in. Being talent didn’t excuse rudeness though. Brock and Jack acted like they were above everyone else.  

All of the work was shared at SHIELD but Brock and Jack refused to participate. During setup and tear down they only handled their own equipment and didn’t help anyone else. During shows if there was a problem they were more likely to stand in your way than help you. Steve disliked them.

He missed Bucky. He missed going to watch him and Natasha practice. He missed eating dinner with Bucky and having Bucky subtly add more food to his plate even though he didn't need it. He missed sleeping in his arms. Even with spending more time with friends Steve felt lonely.

He was making an effort to not isolate himself though. He had been spending a lot of time with Wanda in her tent. Wanda’s fortune telling stand was a popular attached. Steve loved the way Wanda had decorated it with draped fabric and candles that smelled like a forest. He wasn't sure if he believed that anyone had the ability to actually see the future but everyone claimed that Wanda was the real deal. Her twin Pietro helped out around the circus doing anything that was asked of him They were good kids.

Steve really liked Wanda. She reminded him of a little sister he never had. Steve had gotten close to her and her twin Pietro over the last couple weeks with Bucky being gone. Wanda told him stories about growing up in Slovakia and her grandfather who was ill that most of their pay was sent to, to cover hospital bills.  Steve was more than a little sympathetic to the particular plight after watching his own mother struggle to pay his hospital bills growing up.

Steve was about to enter their trailer when he heard Rumlow in the trailer, “Your payment is late. I warned you what would happen if you didn’t pay,” Rumlow said. Steve peered through the door and saw Rollins holding Pietro down, a knife pressed into the young man’s side, as Rumlow stood over him. Wanda was standing there shaking in fear.

“Our grandfather caught pneumonia. We needed the money for medicine. We’ll have your money soon, just give us a little more time,” Wanda pleaded.  Steve pushed the door open loudly startling everyone in the room.

“Leave them alone Brock,” Steve said fists clenched. He knew that Rumlow and Rollins were slimy bastards now he had the proof. They were trying extorting Wanda and Pietro, they were probably pulling this crap on anyone they deemed weaker than them. Steve was livid.

“Hydra doesn’t negotiate. The bitch knew the agreement and chose to ignore it. Now her brother’s going to pay,” Rumlow said pulling out a gun.

Fear spiked through Steve as Wanda screamed and Pietro started thrashing in Rollins’ hold Steve did the only thing he could do, he rushed Rumlow and tackled him to the ground. He knocked the gun out of his hand. He punched Rumlow hard hoping to knock him out. He saw the man’s eyes glaze over, but before he could punch him again he was kicked in the back of the head sending him sprawling. Rollins had joined in. Steve managed to kick Rollins legs out from under him toppling the other man over.

Steve stood up just as Rollins did as well. He charged Rollins knocking him into the wall of the trailer. Steve punched him again sending him to the floor. Grabbing each man by the collar of their shirt Steve dragged them out of the trailer and threw them out.

“Get the fuck out of here and if you know what is good for you, you'll leave SHIELD,” Steve spat. He turned back to see Wanda fussing over Pietro who was bleeding. Rollins must have cut him to prevent him from joining in the fight. “Are you too alright?” Steve asked. He wanted for them to both shakily nod before continuing. “How long has this been going on?” Steve asked.

“Since they both arrived. We normally have the payments in on time but Grandfather was sick,” Wanda said her voice trembling as she cleaned Pietro’s wound. Steve felt like lead. Rumlow and Rollins had been extorting people for weeks and no one had done anything about it. This wasn’t going to stand. Steve was going to do something about it.

“I’m going to fix this,” Steve promised the twins before leaving the trailer.

Rumlow and Rollins had scuttled off probably licking their wounds. Steve didn’t think they would actually leave SHIELD but he was going to go straight to the man who could kick them out. Fury’s office was in the center of the fairgrounds, closest to the Big Top. Steve stormed up not even bothering to knock before barging in. Fury was at his desk looking over paperwork but looked up in surprise at Steve’s interruption.

“You need to fire Rumlow and Rollins,” Steve demanded hand hitting Fury’s desk upsetting a stake of paper.

“And why would I fire our star aerialists?” Fury asked sounded calm if not a little annoyed in the face if Steve’s unbridled anger which only made Steve more angry.

“They’re ’s extorting people Fury! Wanda needs that money to help her sick grandfather. Rumlow was this close to shooting Pietro. You can’t let them get away with this,’ Steve shouted. Fury just sat at his desk face unreadable which just made Steve more angry. Fury had to know this was going on, he seemed to know everything thing that went on at SHIELD, so why didn’t he do anything about it.

“There are things in play here Mr. Rogers that you don’t understand. Trust me when I say that I am keeping a close watch one those two, but SHIELD as a whole is being watched and we can’t act irrationally,” Fury said. Steve thought he was going to see red. Rumlow and Rollins were Hydra. It was so obvious now. Hydra had gotten rid of Natasha and Bucky and replaced them with their own guys.

“I know all about Hydra. I can’t believe that you would let them do this to SHIELD,” Steve spit at Fury whose face finally broke its unreadable expression. Fury looked pissed.

“Then you know that I need to what I think is right to keep this circus safe. Sometimes you have to sacrifice a little of your pride to keep everyone safe,” Fury said. Steve knew that he wasn’t going to get anywhere with Fury. “You better leave this alone Rogers or you will be the one asked to leave,” Fury threatened. Steve couldn’t believe that even with Rumlow and Rollins literally threatening other performers, Steve was the one at risk of being kicked out.

“This is fear. We will never be safe if we are cowering in fear from some bully looming in the distance,” Steve said before slamming the trailer door closed. He was seething.  He was ready to storm over to the trailer the two aerialists shared and confront them.

“Well that was dramatic,” a smooth voice said pulling Steve out of his rage.

“Natasha,” Steve breathed. He couldn’t believe she was here. He looked her over. It had been long enough that any bruising had faded and she held herself as if nothing had happened but Steve could see hints of bags under her eyes like she hadn’t been able to sleep. He opened his mouth, but before he could say anything else she interrupted him.

“If you ask me how I'm doing, I'm going to murder you and no one will ever find your body,” Natasha said before he could get the question out. Having grown up sickly Steve could appreciate the need for people to stop asking that question.

“I know you’re dying to ask about James. He's going to be fine. The idiot managed to take the most impact of the fall pretty much saving my life but he was in a pretty rough state. ” Natasha said.

Steve felt a wave of relief at her words and then dread, he knew how to read between the lines, but wasn’t going to be able to fly again. He steeled himself against the wave of emotion. He didn’t care about anything other than the fact that Bucky was still alive. They would cross the other bridge when it came, Steve just hoped Bucky would want Steve there with him.

“His arm wasn't savable,” Natasha said regret in her voice. Steve felt his throat close, he knew this was going to happen but hearing it still hurt. “You remember, Howard? He came up with an alternative solution to the problem,” Natasha said.

“What do you mean ‘alternative’?” Steve asked brow furrowed in confusion. Howard wasn’t a doctor he was an engineer, what could he offer to help Bucky recover?

“He built an advanced prosthetic arm for Bucky. It's amazing Steve like something out of a comic book. Once he was done brooding James wa actually pretty excited about it, kept talking science with Howard,” Natasha said with awe in her eyes. “Howard is keeping him to work on the arm but he promised that James would fly again,” She said. Steve was silent digesting her words. The idea of Bucky being a science experiment made Steve feel a little sick now that he knew what Hydra had done to him. He didn’t want Bucky to have to go through anything like that again.

“Was it his choice?”  Steve asked. The idea of the decision being made for an unconscious Bucky was terrible and Steve wild personally rip Howard apart if he had given Bucky the arm without his consent. He wasn’t going to let anyone get away with taking away Bucky’s autonomy.

“It was,” Nataasha said solemnly.

Steve knew that Natasha understood Bucky better than anyone else since she had lived through Hydra with him. Steve didn’t envy her for that knowing that she had her own sars that would never fully heal over. He hoped that she had someone to help her through the nightmares he was sure she had. Bucky had him now, so he hoped Natasha had someone of her own.  With that they fell into a thoughtful silence. Steve wanted to ask when Bucky would be back but doubted that Natasha even knew.

“He's coming back Steve,” Natasha said grabbing steve’s hand and squeezing. He was a little ashamed that Natasha was the one that nearly died but she was doing the comforting.

Steve had hoped that Brock and Jack would leave now that Natasha was back but he wasn't foolish enough to actually believe that they would. Natasha was just one person and couldn't do the shows by herself. She ended up being integrated into their act. Steve has tried to watch once but it fault wrong to watch Natasha in the hoop with Brock instead of Bucky.

He was meeting Natasha to walk into town together so they could get dinner and pick up supplies. Steve wanted to purchase some new art supplies and Natasha wanted to restock her make up. Natasha had told him to meet her by the outdoor practice rig as she was just finishing a training session with Brock. As he walked up he said Bock leaning into Natasha’s space most likely hitting on her.

Steve watched as Brock leaned into Natasha’s space making himself seem even larger than he was. It was clearly an intimidation tactic and the fact Brock was using as a means to seduce Natasha was alarming. Natasha didn't even take a step back, holding her ground looking bored. Steve wasn’t surprised that an arrogant asshole like Brick wouldn’t be able to take a hint when he wasn’t wanted.

Steve saw the second Brock made his critical error. Brock slipped a hand down Natasha’s back and squeezed her ass. Steve stood up prepared to storm over but before he could even take a step Brock was being pushed up against the wall, Natasha twisting his arm a way that had to hurt. Steve wished he could hear what Natasha was saying to him because Rumlow went progressively more pale the longer she talked. Good. Brock deserved whatever he had coming to him.

Leaving Brock looking pale and scare Natasha sashayed over to Steve. “You ready?” She asked linking her arm with Steve’s steering him away. Steve loved spending time with Natasha. She was the kind of person who took a while to warm up to you but once she did she was fiercely loyal and amazing funny. When they were done picking up their supplies and back in the fairground Steve waved Natasha goodbye and went off to draw.

Steve didn't have anywhere near the amount of time he used to have to work on his art. He had promised his mother he wouldn't give it up, not after all she went through to put him through art school so he made sure to draw whenever he could. He hoped that she wouldn't be disappointed in him now that he was a performing monkey. His dancing wasn't good enough to be considered a dancing monkey.

He was drawing the landscape so absorbed in his work that he didn't notice anyone approach until they were sitting down next to him. Steve looked up and fell over when he practically dove to hug Bucky only to have the man scoot out of the way at the second.

“Bucky,” Steve said sitting back

“How long have you been back?” Steve asked.

“A couple of hours. I had to go over some stuff with Claire and the other medical staff and then Fury kept me in his office way longer than necessary letting me know there was no pressure to start performing right away,” Bucky said a look of distaste on his face.

“I can't believe you managed to be back for multiple hours without me knowing! The gossip chain has let me down,” Steve said. He reached out to touch Bucky only to have the man flinch back. Steve’s hand hung for a moment as he processed it and then he withdrew his hand. He realized he had been reaching for Bucky’s left arm. Steve felt tense unsure of how to proceed. He didn't know what to say.

Bucky was clearly uncomfortable as well. Bucky’s shoulders had hunched up and his body riddled with tension. Steve wanted reach out and massage the tension away but didn’t think his touch would be appreciated right now.

“I’m sorry, I’m just not completely use to ...you know…” Bucky said. Steve nodded in understanding. He still wasn’t completely used to his new body so he couldn’t fault Bucky on anything.

“Can I see it?” Steve asked unsure if he was being rude. Bucky shrugged.

“Let’s go back to your tent though,” Bucky said clearly self concusm about it.

Steve nodded and gathered up his supplies. Stee led the way to his tent which felt much more comfortable now that Bucky was back in it despite the cramped quarters. Steve sat down on the bed as Bucky shrugged off his shirt. Steve’s eyes raked over Bucky’s body. He eyes stuck on his left side. His shoulder was covered with new scars at the attachment point of the arm.

The arm it self really did look like it came out of a comic book like Natasha had said. It was slick metal plates that moved seamlessly as Bucky moved the arm. Steve didn’t know how such a thing was possible and he didn’t really care at this point, not as long as it was what Bucky wanted. It was stunning. Steve wanted to draw it. Bucky stood there fidgeting like he was nervous about Steve’s reaction. Steve couldn’t stand Bucky looking so anxious over Steve’s potential reactions when Steve would love Bucky no matter what.

“It’s amazing, Bucky. Come here,” Steve said gesturing for Bucky to lay down next to him.

Bucky complied and tentatively Steve reach out to touch the arm which Bucky allowed. It was the same temperature as the air around them and smooth as he ran his hand down the arm. Bucky didn’t seem to be able to feel it but watched Steve touch him.

“Is this really what you wanted?” Steve asked wanting to be sure Bucky hadn’t been coerced into taking the arm. Even without the ability to perform the circus would have taken him back, so he didn’t want Bucky to think he didn’t have a choice.

“What other choice did I have Steve? I either lose my arm and never fly again or I let stark turn me into a robot,” Bucky asked frustration in his voice which wasn't what Steve wanted.

“You could always be a clown,” Steve said.

“I don't think I have the right deposition to be a clown,” Bucky retorted.

“A sad clown then,” Steve said making bucky laugh which was so much better. Steve nuzzles into Bucky’s chest feeling his heartbeat on his cheek. Bucky ran his metal hand up and down Steve’s back. Steve broke out with goosebumps at the feather light touch. He has assumed the metal would be cold, but with their shared heat in the tiny tent the metal was fairly warm. They laid there for while. They were far enough from the trailers that they could barely hear the normal background noise. Steve started to drift off in the silence.

“So who was my replacement while I was out? Fury said he had people to take my place so there was no pressure to push myself to get back on stage but he didn't actually say who it was,” Bucky asked waking Steve up.

“Oh, Brock Rumlow and Jack Rollins,” Steve said surprised Fury or Natasha hadn't told him. Bucky froze. “Do you know them?” Steve asked curious about Bucky’s reaction.

Bucky shook his head and then moved ahead to caress Steve’s chest and then leaned in for a kiss. It was a pretty weak diversion as fair as convincing attempts went but Steve let it slide because Bucky so clearly didn’t want to talk about. Besides Bucky was going have to deal with whatever it was that was going on. SHIELD wasn’t a huge circus but they were by no means small, so there was no way Bucky could avoid Brock and Jack forever.

“I know they’re  Hydra Bucky. I caught them trying to extort money from Wanda and Pietro. I can’t believe Fury didn’t kick them out,” Steve said getting angry about it all over again. Bucky sighed and started rubbing circles on Steve’ back.

“They are Hydra enforcers. Pierce probably sent them to up his threat to Fury. If Fury kicks them out he will be declaring war on Hydra. What chance does a circus have to standing up to something like that?” Bucky explained.

“We can’t live in fear Bucky,” Steve said.

“I know. We’ll figure something out,” Bucky assured.

If the Winter Soldier had been a draw before he was an even bigger one now. The fall had been national news and many had sent their condolences to SHIELD but the fact that not only had bucky returned but he returned with an advanced prosthetic was something people wanted to see.

Bucky wasn't able to start performing right away. He was out of practice for a couple weeks and had a new limb so he needed some time to recondition himself. Steve had assumed that Bucky would need some more time away from the flying trapeze after the fall but that was the first thing he insisted on trying. All Steve could do was stay on the grind and look up while Bucky took some warm up swings. Steve could see him frowning even from how high up he was. After the first practice Bucky complained that the weight of the arm was throwing him off.

“You'll get used to. Besides the audience is going to be able to tell. I didn't see anything off from where I was,” Steve assured.

“I’m hesitating before the trick which is throwing me off more than the arm. I think the fall is affecting me more than I thought,” Bucky admitted. Steve took a step toward Bucky wrapping an arm around his waist and giving him a squeeze.

“You said falling doesn’t have to be traumatic, that it was just something that happened and you accept it and move on. That's what this arm is proof of. You fell but you moved on and are going to fly again,” Steve said a feeling swelling in his chest making it feel a little tight.

“You are such a goddamn sap, you know that?” Bucky said rolling his eyes but face looking a little flush. Steve couldn’t resist and leaned in to kiss Bucky chastly. Their relationship may have got the blessing from the rest of the circus but that didn’t mean they needed to engage in excessive PDA.

“Hey, it’s our practice time. You fairies can take that somewhere else,” Rumlow harsh voice yelled breaking the moment. Steve tensed up and took a step away from Bucky. Bucky was clenching his fists, but Steve just placed a hand on Bucky’s arm to lead him away.

“It's kind of pathic watching that thing pretend he’s anything more than killer. Like he could ever be loved,” Brock said loudly enough to Rollins for Steve and Bucky to hear as they walked away.

Without warning Bucky stowed over to Rumlow and punched Rumlow in his face, luckily with his flesh hand. Steve didn’t even have time to react before Rollins was on Bucky. Without hesitation Steve jumped into the fray. He punched Rollins hard in the stomach making the man double over and Bucky kicked him in the ass sending him toppling to the ground. Rumlow jumped on Steve back sending him off balance, but Steve recovered and with a move Bucky had taught him the Rumlow off hard winding him.

Rumlow pulled out a knife from his pocket flipping it open. Steve had to go on the defensive to avoid getting cut. Bucky was focused on Rollins who had also pulled out a knife. Before the fight could get too out of hand, Thor and his equally huge nordic companions got between them and separated them. A crowd had formed around them and someone must have gone to Thor for help. Fury was standing there looking furious.

“So it's really refreshing not to be the one to start the fight,” Steve said as they stood up, Fury looking at them like he was a parent having to deal with unruly children. Bucky elbowed him hard in the ribs which he probably deserved.

“Rumlow, Rollins you have been warned about fighting. You’re fired. Get the fuck got of my circus,” Fury spat.

“He's the one that started it! Why are we the ones being kicked out?” Brock’s voice was furious.

“Because this is James’ first offense while the two of you have numerous complaints. Also your contacts specifically state that in the case of physical violence you will be terminated. You can have the evening to pack your stuff but you are no longer performers here,” Fury said.

Steve found it convenient that apparently Rumlow and Rollins using violence to extort money wasn’t a good enough reason to kick them out before. Steve didn’t really care about what had and made Fury finally get of fhsi ass and purge SHIELD of those too bastards, he was just happy someone was finally standing up to them.

With the eyes of half the circus on them and no one to stand up for them Rumlow and Rollins had no choice but to retreat. Fury had Thor and and men escort Rumlow and Rollins back to their trailer to clear it out and then out of the camp. Steve couldn’t believe that they were finally rid of those creeps. Now SHIELD was Hydra free again, but he knew that Hydra had a way of cropping back up no matter how many heads you cut off. They would have to be on the lookout for Hydra’s next move.

Watching Bucky perform with his arm glinting in the stage lights was like something out of the science fiction pulps he saw Bucky reading. Bucky had cuffed him in the back of the head when Steve had said that out loud. The arm could take an impossible amount of weight. Steve had squealed the first time Bucky had lifted him unexpected by one hand.  He was happy no one had been there to witness that.

It was Bucky’s comeback show and the audience was packed. Steve watched in awe as Bucky owned the stage flaunting the arm giving everyone a taste of what they were looking for. He was impressive to watch normally but tonight he had upped his performaniship. Steve couldn’t tear his eyes away even if he wanted to. He had almost missed his queue for his own act he was too busy watching Bucky throughout the night.

They were heading out right after the show. They didn’t normally tear down at night, but due to last minute scheduling they needed to be at the next city a day early and it was at least a day and a night  trip and then they would need a day to get set up It was all hands on deck getting everything torn down even as the last of audience lingered to watch them tear down like it was part of the show. Once all of the show equipment had been packed and loaded on the train everyone scattered to get their own affairs in order. Steve had already packed up his own belongs not wanting to have to rush. He decided to go see if Wanda and Pietro needed help packing up Wanda’s tent.

On his way over he passed the train car that acted as Fury’s office on the go. It was also where the safe with that evening revue was stored until it could be taken to the bank. The lights were out in the car but there was a loud banging sound coming from the car. He heard a hushed curse that sounded a lot like Rumlow. Before Steve go investigate Rumlow and Rollins came slinking out that evening's profit in hand.

Without thinking Steve surged forward to tackle Rumlow. Every show they did was a risk, if they lost all of the revenue for the last city they were done. Everyone would be out of work.there wasn't a lot of work out there for people like them and people had families to provide for.

He was stronger than Rumlow and he had surprised him so he was able to subdue him for a second but he had forgotten about Rollins who came at Steve was a bat. Steve collapsed forward and Rumlow threw Steve's body off him easily. Steve rolled to standing and threw a punch. He didn't know what he was doing though. Really all Steve’s plan was to keep them busy and be loud enough to draw a crowd.

No one came though. He was thrown into some trash cans. A little desperate Steve grabbed one of the lids to use as a weapon. He hurled it at Rollins clocking him in the head. The man collapsed leaving just Rumlow for Steve to deal with. Rumlow pulled out a gun and aimed at Steve who didn’t even have time to move before Rumlow pulled the trigger.

Steve collapsed clutching his side. He had never even seen anyone get shot before. He had seen Clint’s assistant get shot with an arrow once while they were practicing a new trick. It has bled a lot but Darcy had insisted she was fine, just a flesh wound. Clint had been distraught but Darcy had struggled it off saying she knew the risks when she had agreed to be his assistant.

This wasn't like that though, where Darcy just had to be careful of her injuries leg. They had even still performed, Darcy wearing a full length dress to hide the wound instead of her skimpy outfit. Steve was pretty sure he was going to die. This wasn't how he pictured he would died. He had always assumed it would be alone in the hospital. At least he was going to see his mother again. He only regretted that he wasn’t able to say goodbye to Bucky.

Rumlow was long gone by now with the money, but the shot had drawn some attention. Some came running over to where Steve lay on the ground.  The person lifted Steve up making him scream in pain.

“Jesus fucking Christ Steve I told you, you were going to get shot someday but I didn’t mean it like a challenge,” Bucky’s panicked voice finally registered through the pain.

“Sorry,” Steve tried to croak out but he wasn’t sure if Bucky heard him.

Bucky had to carry him to Claire's trailer. Claire was in the middle of packing up and looked pissed as Bucky burst in but quickly morphed into professional seriousness when she saw he state Steve was in.

“Get him inside and lay him in the table,” Clarie ordered and got to work.

Steve was in too much pain to pay attention to anything but he tried to focus on Bucky. If he was going to die he wanted to make sure the last thing he saw was Bucky. Bucky who looked half crazed with panic. Steve was acutely aware that he was holding up the train. Someone, Steve was in no state to see who, to check on Claire to see what the hold up was. The whole circus would know by now that the money was stolen and that Steve had been shot. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what happened. After what felt like forever Claire took a step back.

“It looks like the serum is healing him. It shouldn’t be possible,” Claire said in disbelief. Bucky sagged with relief leaning into Steve’s uninjured side. “Get him on the train and don’t let him do anything. He needs to rest,” Claire ordered. Bucky nodded solemnly. Steve was just floating as the pain started to ebb a little bit.

Bucky had to carry him onto the train because Steve was too unstable to walk. He could actually feel the bullet wound healing with his accelerated healing but knew he was going to be out for the next couple shows at the very least. He felt guilty. He hadn’t been able to stop Rumlow from getting away with the money and now he wouldn’t even be able to do his part in trying to make up the lost profit.

Bucky set him down on one of the beds and looked down at him sternly. “Stay there. We have a long trip and I’m going to go find you food. If I find out that you so much as twitched a finger Steve I swear to god,” Bucky said cutting off his own threat. Steve wasn’t really in a position to protest so he just nodded and tried to fall asleep after Bucky exited the car.

He woke up a few hours later head a little more clear and body sore but in a lot less pain. Bucky was nowhere to be found but there was a tray with some fruit and a glass of water. Steve ate the fruit feeling ravenous. Bucky hadn’t returned by the time he finished eating the fruit so he decided to go look for him. He stood up and groaned in pain. He was able to hobble out the room and into the corridor.

He didn’t make it very far when the train bounced. That was all the warning Steve thrown by a sudden impact. He blacked out. All Steve could hear was ringing noise in his ear and he tried to sit up despite the splitting pain in his side and leg. Only to find that he couldn’t. How had he not noticed the weight on his back? But now that he had, he felted like he was being crushed. He tried to call out for help but with the ringing in his ears he wasn’t sure if he was speaking loudly enough for anyone to hear him. He didn’t even know if there was anyone who could help him.

Panicking Steve struggled under the weight of whatever was on top of him trying to free himself to avail. Slowly his hearing started to return and he could make out the frantic yells of the other members of the circus and the distressed sounds of the animals. It took him a moment to really process what had happened. The train had been derailed. He was lucky he hadn’t been killed although if he didn’t get out he would die anyway.

Using all his strength Steve pushed up trying to free himself. It felt like he was going to tear himself apart as he tried to lift. He grunted and also screamed with the effort desperate to free himself. Slowly he was able to stand until he was able to throw the weight off of him.

Steve stumbled away from the trailer that had been crushing him, every step an unbearable pain in his left leg. into the frenzy of people trying to salvage what they could.  He could see the lion tamer trying to contain the big cats who had been freed from their cages and not happy about the derailing.

“Steve!” Bucky’s voice screamed and suddenly he was toppling back with a remembered weight on top of him. He hissed in pain as his whole body flared up with pain. “I couldn’t find you. I thought you had died,” Bucky said tears streaming down his face hands trailing down Steve’s body checking him over not even caring that anyone could see them. Not that Steve cared either at this point he was too disoriented and in pain to care about anything else then Bucky’s weight and hands. Those hands stilled on his thigh and Steve looked down to see a long piece of glass sticking through his thigh that he hadn’t noticed. Not that he was aware he could feel the throb.

“You need medical attention,” Bucky said face pale.

“Other people need it more than me Buck,” Steve gritted out. If the serum could heal a bullet wound he would heal from this.  Bucky pursued his lips but didn’t say anything. He did get off of Steve which he was grateful for because of the pain, but he also was afraid of being left alone. He grabbed at Bucky, trying to stop him from leaving but the acrobat just shook him off.

“You need help Steve. I’m not going to let you bleed out” Bucky insisted before running off presumingly to find someone. Steve started to panic once he was alone.

Bucky appeared with Claire running after him. It was the second time she had to save his life in less than 24 hours. She managed to get the glass out and stop the bleeding. She stitched him up before standing back up. She didn’t have time for more than that, there were other people who needed help. She ran off as someone called out for help.

“I can help,” Steve insisted even though he couldn’t even support his own weight. Bucky glared at him.

“You can help by sitting your ass down and not getting in the way,” Bucky growled. The words cut deep Even though he knew Bucky didn’t mean them that way he couldn't help but think back to the way people would not so discreetly send him away any time he tried to help. He thought Erskine's serum was going to make him useful but here he was again dead weight.

“What happened?” Steve said trying to make sense of it all. The train had obvious been derailed but that was all he knew.

“The train was sabotaged,” Bucky said.

“By who?” Steve said with a frown.

“Hydra,” Bucky said looking so deadly that for a moment Steve was afraid of him.

“We should move, find out what is going on,” Steve suggested because he couldn’t stand just sitting there any longer. Bucky nodded in agreement. Bucky tried to carry him, but Steve refused although he did accept the arm around his waist. He had to lean most of his weight into Bucky to be able to walk, he he managed to do it.

They found a small group of people huddled by some of the the wreckage. It was Fury along with a few of the other performers. Everyone looked grim and most people were sporting at least minor cuts and serious bruises. Steve and Bucky joined the group hoping to hear what was going on.

“It’s over, we can’t recover from something like this,”  Tony said. The surrounding people murmured in agreement. Steve knew Tony was just speaking the truth but he started to panic again. If he didn’t have the circus he wouldn't have anything. He didn’t have any family to go back to, no where to go nothing to fall back on. He knew most of the other members of the circus were in a similar situation. Beside that the circus had become his home and he wasn’t going to to give it up without a fight.

“We’ll bring the crowd to us,” Steve said. Everyone turned to look at him like he was crazy and he probably was at this point, but that wasn’t going to stop him, not after everything they had been through.  

“Everyone salvage what costumes we can and we’ll have a parade and bring the crowd to us. There is a field near by we can set on.” Steve said.  

“We don’t even have a tent let alone lights,” Clint said defeat in his voice.

“Then we have the show out in the open air. If we start now we can have every set up by morning.  We can’t let this be the end. If we don’t do something now it's over,” Steve said unwilling to give an inch. He was not going to let Hydra ruin this circus. He had spent his whole life standing up to bullies and he would be damned if let these ones ruin the best thing in his life just because the my were a little more intense than the drunk assholes he normally default with. Bucky was standing next to him letting Steve lean his weight into him.

Everyone looked to Nick who ultimately would have the final word. The man looked pensive for a moment thinking it over. Steve held his breath waiting for the decision. Bucky was rubbing small circles into his back with his right hand. It felt so good on Steve's aching body.

“It is worth trying,” Fury said. Steve sagged with relief for a second and then sprung up because they needed all hands on deck if they were going to pull this off. The group scattered to search for everyone who wasn’t too injured to help and to salvage what they could. Steve stood up and started to look around for his props or costume.

“Steve you're injured, you can barely walk. You can't perform right now,” Bucky said following after Steve.

“We need all the acts we can get Bucky. Even if I can't dance I can still do all the lifting,” Steve insisted. He refused to be useless. He had spent too much of his life watching brim the sidelines, he needed to be out there.

“That isn't safe for you or the other people in your act Steve. You are already doing so much just organizing all of this. Don't go out there Steve,” Bucky pleaded. He knew Bucky Was right, he usually was but he didn't want to admit it.

“You can't expect me to sit here and do nothing while everyone else is working their asses off to save the circus. You can't ask me to do that Bucky,” Steve said glaring at Bucky. It wasn't Bucky he was mad at, but Bucky was making himself a target.

“Steve, no one thinks that you aren't doing anything. You're the one that came up with the plan. You were shot yesterday. No one would blame you for not performing,” Bucky pleaded. Before Steve could reply Natasha came running up them. Steve could tell it was bad news from the look on her face.

“We lost our ringmaster. Phil can't do it,” Natasha said shaking her head with a grimace.

“I can do it,” Steve said quickly. “No, really I can,” he said looking directly at Bucky who was giving him a dubious look. “The ring master can be somewhat static so it won't mess with my leg and people do say I have a nice voice,” Steve said. Bucky still looked skeptical but Natasha looked like she was on board.

“Are you sure you can handle it?” Bucky asked and then winced as if he realized he had just issued Steve a challenge.

“I'll be fine. I promise,” Steve said looking Bucky in the eye.

“Well then you better get down to costuming because they are going to have a hell of a time finding a ringmaster costume that fits you,” Bucky said standing up helping Steve up as well.

Steve did relent and did not participate in the parade to draw the city into the show. Bucky had gone along with every performer who could walk. Steve stayed with the show giving last minute order to make sure the show was ready when everyone got back.

Steve didn’t want to admit it but he was afraid that it wouldn’t work. Maybe no one would come. The city would have heard about the train crash by now, but maybe no one would come. They would be ruined. Steve pushed those thoughts aside as the parade started to appear in the distance. Amazing they were followed by what looked like the whole city. They wouldn’t have enough room for a crowd that size.

“You did it!” Steve yelled hugging Bucky when he appeared backstage to get ready to go out there.

“This is all you Steve, you're the one who made this happened. Hydra isn’t going to beat us,” Bucky said conviction in his eyes. They were going to prove that a even a small circus like them wouldn’t be pushed around by the likes of Hydra.

Steve stepped into the middle of the ring wearing the red and gold ringmaster outfit, top hat on his head.  The crowd roared with applause. He looked up to see Bucky posed in the silks. To the right he saw Sam with his Falcons. He could see the crew running around like a well oiled machine. Even in disaster the show must go one. Everyone was doing their part and they were going to be ok.

Steve looked at the packed audience and said, microphone in hand, “Welcome Ladies and Gentleman to the Greatest Show on Earth!”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this piece if you made it all the way to the end. Please check out the amazing art for this fic by [Brooklyn-bisexual](http://brooklyn-bisexual.tumblr.com/image/164366654347) and [Buckybarnesbutt](https://buckybarnesbutt.tumblr.com/post/164402769979/my-art-for-youngavengersfeels-stucky-big-bang-fic)


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